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Sunday, February 9, 2014

HIJACKED BY GWEN … SUZANNE'S BIRTHDAY SURPRISE …


Well we all know that my sis Suzanne is not great at updating her blog and I am not even sure if anyone is still following her (hee hee) … Her 43rd Birthday is very soon and I am so excited about ANOTHER birthday surprise that I have cooked up for her … I just can't say in enough ways at how I feel Suzanne is one of the kindest and most giving woman I have ever known … SHE LIVES JESUS OUT LOUD … She teaches me so much about LOVE AND GRACE … I thought there was no better way to honor her than to give the children's home in Honduras that she has fallen in love with a new bus … I know this is a tall ASK, but like I always say, if we can all just give a little it will make ENOUGH to do Jesus's work … 

go read the blog post about this amazing place and help us by GIVING !!! 



Help me give her a gift of LOVE !!! 

blessings, GWEN 


Tuesday, October 22, 2013

go to 147 blog at http://147million.org/category/news/ to read my latest blogs:)





ummm..my blog is jacked up! i am now blogging on the 147 million orphans blog:) check it out!





long time, no blog! There is a new Mayernick:)

Okay, so life just doesn't permit me to do 147 social media and a personal one:(  BUT, the good news is I will be blogging occasionally on the 147 blog...keeping you updated on everything that is going on personally AND with our ministry!!  Join our blog page to get updates when Gwen and  I blog!!  SO, go to 147 million orphans to hear about the latest Mayernick!



Saturday, March 30, 2013

147 harlem shake




this was one of the best days of my life!

watching the villagers of Mt Olivos join us in making this video was such a thrill!!


Sunday, March 24, 2013

we made it and it is just a smidge hot here!

WOW!  105 degrees has never felt hotter! I cannot believe the progress that has been made the past year! The last time I blogged about Honduras, we had built a well and one house.  Now there are 16 houses and they are FABULOUS!!!    Yesterday we spent the day  building houses. We dug ditches for the footing of the houses, tied rebar, mixed concrete and poured it...needless to say, we were dehydrated and absolutely EXHAUSTED by the time that we made it to Copprome childrens home for our Easter egg hunt!  We made the mistake of  allowing the older children to hunt with the younger ones and they filled their bags and left none for the little ones!  AND they were NOT going to share what they found, so we had to open a few more bags of candy for the little bitties!
Kim Nunn (the master story teller) shared with the children how they would hunt for the eggs in the grass ( little hidden treasures) but that  THEY  are a TREASURE to Christ!  you could see the light bulbs go off in their heads as she spoke of His love for them..it was a sweet sweet blessing to my heart.
While in Olivos i has the blessing of visiting a man that just had surgery.  He just returned from 5 days in the hospital from hernia surgery.  As he lay on his bed in his new HOUSE, tears stung my eyes as i thought how much easier his recovery will be in a home where rain will not pour in on him and the heat will be less from the cool concrete instead of hot metal panels propped against each other.  As we prayed over him, I could feel the Holy Spirit in his house.  My heart felt so full.
I have only been here a day and a half and I am overwhelmed with gratefulness that God has allowed me and my family to have a small part in helping here in Honduras.  The compassion that I feel in my heart for these families is SO divine.  Compassion is not one of my gifts ( i will freely admit it:()  BUT, when I am in the village working alongside these people and holding a child on my hip, I LOVE them and it can only be divine because I do not KNOW them.
Joshua is doing great.  He has been REALLY HOT, but other than that, has has made many friends.  I was lecturing him on the way here about how he has to stay close so I do not lose him and he very bluntly said " mom, dont worry!  Ill be the little brown boy running around!" now that we are here, he has discovered that there are quite a few "brown boys" running around!!
We are now heading to the pool with all of the children from the childrens home...pray that we will continue to minister to the families in the village and that we can give these children of Copprome long lasting love!







Sunday, March 3, 2013
Hey y'all! It's Grace here. I know it's been awhile since I've blogged, so I'm not really sure where to begin but I'll go ahead and give it a shot...

Lately, I feel like God has laid the word "contentment" on my heart. Ever since my first trip to Uganda when I was in 7th grade, I've learned to be content with what I have. The things I've seen and heard and experienced there have caused me to, whenever I find myself complaining, step back and think about whatever it is that's wrong, and 99.9% of the time I'll realize that it's about something that is SO irrelevant in the long run. 

What's hard for me now is being at home in one of the wealthiest counties in the country, where people complain when their slightest needs are not met. Whether it's about a flaw in their billion dollar schools, their friends, family, houses....the list goes on. It's hard for me to sit here and hear that, when all I can think about are my friends in Uganda's smiling faces, so happy with the little that they have. 
BUT, the good news is...I've had a solid 4 years to learn patience (it is indeed a virtue) and I have learned how to keep my calm instead of getting frustrated and going on a rant about how good we have it here. And hear me out, I'm not saying everyone's life is perfect and there's never anything to complain about. It's just the little, unnecessary petty things that could use some perspective.

It's also hard for me to be content here when I have so much more joy when I'm in Uganda. I don't know what it is, but something about serving over there, not distracted by petty problems or social media or materialism, connecting and forming long term relationships with people that CRAVE that interaction and appreciate it just causes you to be so simply content. One of the coolest things for me is to be able to talk to my friends over there (I email 2 of my friends, Agnes and Prossy, on a regular basis) and to think that we've been friends for FOUR years...and I consider both of them two of my very best friends. And, to know without a doubt that we can continue to be friends and they can know that I'm coming to visit them (Lord willing) every year. 

Although it's hard, God has shown me that it's WORTH it. Over the past four years, I've learned that I can be a light here in Brentwood as much as I can in Uganda, even if it looks different. I can encourage my friends and family and love people to the best of my ability. It's in our human nature to long to feel loved and cared about, and the way I see it, if someone feels loved enough they shouldn't have a reason to always be complaining, right? Although I fail Him on a regular basis, Jesus calls us to love like He loved us and that's what I strive to do. 

Speaking of loving others, I'd like to present an opportunity to all of you to show ME some love on my birthday. On March 14th, I turn 17! I know alot of you have probably seen on Gwen's blog where Elijah did this for his birthday, but if you didn't, here's what I'm trying to do...

As most of you probably know, 147 Million Orphans is building a medical clinic in Gressier, Haiti, and I'm trying to raise at least $1,500 to help build it. It's really easy to donate. Just go to http://grouprev.com/graces17th?saved=1 and click on GIVE NOW on the right side. It only takes a minute and even if you only give a little bit, you're still helping make a difference in honor of my birthday! 

And remember, the deadline is March 14th. Thanks so much! 

Til next time,
Grace
Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Intimacy...a foreign word these days

I always seem to blog about controversial topics.  I'm not sure why, other than I typically blog about what burdens my heart.
I led a class on intimacy at a conference awhile back.  It was actually quite comical.  As I looked into the crowd of women sitting in front of me, the faces were filled with an abundance of emotions.  Some shaking their heads "as if to say YES! Amen to that!" Others with a complete blank stare as if to say "i think I am in the wrong classroom?!" and the rest with a perplexed look as if to say "are you SERIOUS?"
I will never forget the week of my wedding my mom gave me a great analogy that I will never forget.  With a smile on her face, she explained,"Your marriage is like a package to be sent in the mail.  While it might be  FULL of many wonderful things, it will go nowhere without the postal stamp.  The postal stamp represents the intimacy in your marriage, while it seems so small and insignificant, it will never reach the potential that it is capable of without you keeping it a priority"...in other words...your marriage is going NOWHERE without that stamp!"  For 20 years, her words have rung in my ears.
How can it be that something God created IN us, can seem SO foreign?  Our world, culture, and sin nature make it seem wrong or forbidden or just downright difficult.  God created it to be wonderful and make us feel closer to our spouse than we could ever imagine, so why does it seem to be what keeps us apart at times?  
I am not a marriage specialist.  However, i have lived with the same man for 20 years and juggled 7 children in the midst of my marriage and can still say that I feel closer to him now than I ever have.  After a few children come into your life the juggle begins.  Many things begin to strain your relationship and make you physically tired.   The problem that we face is forgetting to "pursue" each other.  Your marriage becomes comfortable and the ones we love the most seem to get the least from us.  life just happens...
Kevin Leman writes the best books on marriage.  He often says: what do men need? 1) to be fulfilled 2) to be respected 3) to be needed. What do women need? 1) affection 2) communication 3) commitment to family.  His second list consists of  what we REALLY LONG for.  women long for: 1) intimacy, security, being known and loved unconditionally, feel like she can be whomever she wants to be, being freed from trying to please everyone.  men long for: 1) a 12 month football season, 2) a pocket satellite dish, 3) a wife who is assertive and aggressive in the bedroom, 4)a soul mate ( someone who really understands how he feels when he dares to share his feelings, 5)a wife who needs him ( not others, just him)
One of the most significant things that I have learned is that Mike would rather have me (with vericose veins from 4 children, cellulite from adding the extra weight, wrinkles on my face (more each day) and dark circles under my eyes) DESIRE him over a perfect looking young lady laying next to him that has no interest in him whatsoever.  Men long to feel desired. The world tells us that men are visual (which they are) and that outer looks trump all and that is not the case.   They need to know that you think they are still handsome,  that you think about them during the day, and that you are SO thankful that they help provide for your family.  I know many of you have lost touch with your husbands and just the basics no longer stand true.  if this is the case, then i want to challenge you to talk with him.  tell him that you want to start over.  you want to date again.  make "courting" a priority.  Make an effort to call several times in the day to check in.  In the beginning it might be a little awkward, after all, you have to get to know each other again.  Keep at it.  DO NOT LET satan win!  He wants your marriage.  He will whisper  lies in your ears...commit to each other to rebuke him and put each other first.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8




Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas!




i find it comical that i am awake before my family on Christmas morning.  I just couldn't sleep.....thoughts kept swirling in my head.

 We went to my mom and dad's last night. Once again, I was reminded of how precious family is.  My dad turned 80 in November.  I can't believe it.  You would never know that my parents are as old as they are......their energy is astounding. My brother, his new wife, and family moved to Montana, so they were not there.  It just wasn't the same.  Our family has been so close my entire life, when someone is absent, it leaves a gaping hole.  I left my moms house thankful that my brother has found someone to love and while they were not at my moms, he is still in my heart.

There were multiple times last night when my 3 littles were bouncing off the walls, that I thought "i will not miss these days."  The struggle of wrangling them 24/7 is not for the weak:)   before we opened gifts, Joshua quoted Luke 2 for the family.  As I sat with a smile on my face and love in my heart for this little boy, I couldn't help but think of Mary and the difficulty she felt in her lifetime rearing Jesus.  (all of a sudden, mine seemed VERY small)  They went from door to door just trying to find a place for her to deliver Jesus.  Not to mention, the ridicule she was under her entire pregnancy.  Can you imagine how the women in her community gossiped about her?  And for Joseph, people thought he was just plain ole' stupid for putting up with a cheating girlfriend....not for the weak.

While listening to scripture stream from Joshua's mouth i couldn't help but wonder where he would be. What would his life look like, but because God has a very special plan for him, he was standing before me with scripture streaming from his mouth....telling the story of Jesus, telling of God's special plan for Jesus's birth.  What a celebration.  What an HONOR to know HIM and know that HE has a special plan for each and every one of us.  WOW.  it's almost too much to fathom.  Brings tears to my eyes at just the thought.

I hope you are filled with some of the same thoughts through this wonderful season.  Merry Christmas from the Mayernicks!


Sunday, December 16, 2012

heavy heart at such a JOYful time

As i sit on my couch next to Michael and watch the lights on my Christmas tree twinkle, my heart is full of heaviness.  I have fought it all day. I have been very intolerant and I have had the hardest time pinpointing my mood.  I really think that I am feeling the oppression from Connecticut.   We can place blame every day, all day long on this and that...the truth is...it's just plain ole' DEMONIC oppression. Anybody that can do something SO awful to innocent children/people is being led by other forces than Christ.
Scripture speaks of it multiple times.  Satan is a deceiver.  He deceives in the small things ( i.e. that this world can satisfy our needs) and in the BIG things (the death of a classroom of children).  As believers, if we do not start calling him out on it....and rebuking against demonic oppression, satan is just going to receive more and more power.  This is a must.  the church has tiptoed around the subject of warfare for so many years.  Satan is claiming our children and we are sitting back and watching it happen because we are afraid that people might think we are too "charismatic or cooky christian people" COME ON PEOPLE....we have got to claim these children in Jesus name and rebuke satan from claiming their hearts at an early age!  People are asking "why God?"  "how does something like this happen?"  plain and simple : satan.  That is who he is, how he rolls......as a culture, we are sitting back claiming that "this is a different generation and life is hard" rather than claiming ourselves for Christ. HE can overcome anything we face here on earth.... anxiety, homosexuality, divorce, sickness.
we are failing.  we are failing.  we are failing.  as a nation, as parents, and as believers.  If you don't believe it, just turn on your TV and watch the news.
We need a revival.   people need to lock arms and hearts and turn this thing around.   we can't do it, but HE can.  If our children hear us claiming HIM over their lives with scripture/love/ and anointing, they will believe it also.
HE IS THE I AM.  He can restore the Connecticut families.  He can give HOPE, GRACE, LOVE and FORGIVENESS when WE cannot.  thankfully, in the end, He will have victory.  HE WILL.

More of HIM and Less of US.

He created my 7 children and I am determined that satan will NOT reign over their hearts and minds.  I will rebuke him for the rest of my life...every single day if need be.  Will you join me?

Merry Christmas from the Mayernick's!



Friday, December 7, 2012

Fatherhood

Boys born to teen mothers are more than 2 1/2 times more likely to father a child between ages 14-26.

In 2003, 1 out of 3 children was born to unmarried parents

54% of female high school seniors say they believe that having a child outside of marriage is a worthwhile lifestyle.

63% of black children, 35% of latino children, and 28% of caucasian children are living in homes absent their biological father.

THE FATHERLESS REPRESENT:
90% of homeless and runaway children
85% of children with behavioral disorders
85% of youth in prison
80% of rapists
75% of children with chemical abuse
63% of teen suicides.

And the divorce rate is rising and rising and rising.....

These statistics are astounding to me.  I can't help but think it if breaks my heart, how does Christ feel? WOW! we are REALLY letting him down.

There is not a day that goes by that I do not look into the eyes of my domestically adopted boys and think "where would they be?" These stats give me a pretty good idea...

PLEASE, get involved.  stats also show, boys that have SOMEONE to believe in him, show him support, encourage him....has  more of a chance to thrive.  If you do not feel called to adopt domestically, go to www.familyfoundationfund.org and get involved in some way and MAKE ad DIFFERENCE in a child's life.






Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Who doesn't LOVE a SALE?!

CHECK OUT OUR NEW VIDEO!  14.7% OFF THE ENTIRE 147 MILLION ORPHANS STORE ... Make your Christmas presents mean something this season .... Nov. 19-24th !!!   FAB new tees, HOODIES/SWEATSHIRTS, jewelry from Uganda/Honduras/Haiti, coffee mugs, hats, HANDMADE BAGS, toddler & youth gear ... WE have something for everyone AND MORE IMPORTANTLY your gift will change lives !!!


Saturday, November 17, 2012

perspective

The past few weeks have been FULL for 147 Million Orphans.  We had our VERY FIRST FUNDRAISER!  After visiting Megan in Haiti last spring we realized that she needs a medical facility. The closest one is an hour away.  She has 600 children in her school and feeds 700 a day..imagine all of the coughs, runny noses, HIV/AIDS, and not to mention women having babies!! SOOO, we came home and our wheels started turning!  She had her builder draw up plans and told us it was going to cost $250,000! (eeeeek!!!) There will be a pharmacy on the top floor, and dental and medical on the bottom.  It will be  "hub" for people to come and get tested for HIV/AIDS, and if the are positive, she will send them to get meds!! I AM SO EXCITED!!!  Needless to say, we started working FERVENTLY on how to raise the funds. ( no grass growing under our feet!)
In the middle of our preparations, we received the call that Jan ( my last post) had been taken to the hospital with stroke symptoms.  The next day, Michelle, Gwen, and I went to the hospital to visit her and she shared that she had been diagnosed with a brain tumor.  Now, let me just back up and say that we are the "four amigos."  we do everything together.  We talk all day long, every day, making 147 ROLL.  In my last post I sent you to read Anna Bliss's perspective.  Because honestly, I was SO numb from hearing the news that I didn't know what to say.  The biopsy showed that it is cancerous.  She went back into surgery on Wednesday and there were able to remove 90% of the tumor.  It is in her speech/memory section of her brain, so they didn't want to go too deep for fear of causing damage.  We were told that she probably wouldn't speak for awhile and she might have to learn sign language.  (the words would be in her head, but she wouldn't be able to get them out.)  Miraculously, she woke from surgery talking like normal!!
Over the past few weeks, God has shown himself in a MIGHTY way.  Our fundraiser went off without a hitch!  Megan was in town and shared her heart.  Jan was able to come!!  we raised $100,000!!  The Holy Spirit was so heavy in the room.  My heart felt as though it was going to explode.
Gwen and I traveled to Knoxville to speak to a 3,000 member church.  It was AWESOME.  The heartbeat of the people there was all about giving and serving others.  Our hearts were filled with hope that more churches will see the heart of Jesus as we left town.
We had our 147 Christmas sale. (shop with purpose)  We spent the day listening to Christmas music and filling bags of gifts for  people to give away.  And the icing on the cake was that Jan was able to be there with us!
God has given her such strength the past few weeks.  She has more JOY and is sharing her heart and HIS purpose for her life and others.  IT HAS BEEN AMAZING to watch her share HIS story of her life that HE is writing each and every day.
This week I was thinking back of the past few weeks and realized that HE is writing a story in my life each and every day also.  My days aren't filled with doctors appointments or scheduling surgery, but they are filled with living out strength, patience, perseverance, and grace.  HE is in the small things too. He is in the everyday, all day long and is writing a story with our lives.  Why does it take a brain tumor to make us realize that we ought to live each day with intention?  Going through the motions of baths, laundry, meals, school distract us.  While those things HAVE to happen so that our homes do not collapse, there is a bigger picture here.  OUR LIVES are a colorful, beautiful picture that God is creating and we do not even realize it.  What do I want my picture to look like?  I get to draw/paint it, I have the opportunity to choose what I want it to be filled with....hhhmmmm...clutter or INTENTIONAL things?
 This is the land where we are building the medical facility
 Jan loving on the children in Haiti
 our sweet friend Katy Southern  (far right) went with us to take pics of our time in Haiti
the four amigos

The past few weeks have given me perspective.  One day when I stand before the Lord, I want my life painting to be FULL of colors, pictures, and LOVE.


www.147millionorphans.org
Friday, November 9, 2012

"if you have EVER been the great physician Lord, HEAL my sweet sister!


This week has been a week of falling on my face before the Lord, crying out "if you have EVER been the great physician Lord, HEAL my sweet sister!"  Many of you might remember my post "Never underestimate your walk..".  Anna Bliss (angel on earth)  was serving in Uganda alongside Katie.  Anna Bliss's mom (Jan) works for 147 Million Orphans.  Three years ago, she called us out of the clear blue and told us that God told her to call us and see how she could serve.  Her children are older, she had extra time and wanted to serve in a mighty way.  SOOOO, Gwen and I put her to work!  She is SOLD out for Jesus like none other, and speaks BOLDLY about His sovereignty.  She has done every job to be done at 147 without complaining. We have all been SO busy planning for our fundraiser the past few weeks.   This last week, we received some devastating news.  In Anna Bliss's words....click here: LOVE WITH ABANDON.


Sunday, November 4, 2012

when fear creeps in....

Hello blog world!   it's been too long..i am going to try and do better.  the truth is, there hasn't been much to say. Day to day gets hectic and the last thing i want to do is open my computer once i get everyone in the bed at night.  I'll admit, I am the worst blogger EVER!

 I went to the SHOW HOPE fundraiser last night and cried most of the night.  Frances Chan spoke, and BROUGHT IT.  They had the cutest little boy from China named YOYO come on stage and sing AMAZING GRACE.   I closed my eyes and felt as though I was at heavens gates.

Finally, the Wright family came on stage.  Several years ago, Rebekah Wright emailed me and told me that she and her husband were feeling called to adopt. Their hearts were being tugged towards domestic.  I walked alongside her through their process, and watched them bring home precious little baby Caleb.  We all go to the same school, so I have been able to watch Caleb go from a newborn to a lively toddler.  This year, they ventured to China and brought home Isaac.  His story isn't as "cute and cuddly" as bringing home a newborn.  He was at Maria's big House of Hope.  Issac can't walk, when not in his wheelchair, he pulls himself around by his upper body.  He has a HUGE smile pasted on his face each and every day as she is bringing him into school.  Rebekah asked the audience "if fear and money were not an issue, would you adopt?"  Tears started streaming down my cheeks, as I thought about the paralyzing fear that consumed me when the doctor told me that Josie had TB and HIV.   It started ringing in my ears.."fear and money, fear and money, fear and money."

Genesis 15:1
[ The LORD’s Covenant With Abram ] After this, the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision: “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward. ”
Genesis 46:3
“I am God, the God of your father,” he said. “Do not be afraid to go down to Egypt, for I will make you into a great nation there.

Deuteronomy 3:22
Do not be afraid of them; the LORD your God himself will fight for you.”

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”


There are MANY verses telling us not to fear...He will provide.  

As Steven Curtis Chapman led us in singing.  I stood there with my eyes closed praying that HE would remove all fear in His body of Christ.  Think of what we could accomplish with no fear in our lives. Adoption aside, think of everything else that we could do for the glory of Christ if we had absolutely NO FEAR!   
No fear = FAITH

If we just had FAITH without FEAR, think of what we could do for the kingdom of Christ. 
Matthew 6:30
If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?

Matthew 8:26
He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

Matthew 17:20
He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”


I have been anxious about the amount of money that 147 Million Orphans is trying to raise for the medical clinic in Haiti.  $200,000. is a LOT of money.  I am turning it over to HIM, RIGHT NOW.  He WILL provide, for he loves those kiddos more than I do! 

Fear completely paralyzes our FAITH. 


This is the site for our clinic......I WILL NOT BE PARALYZED!  Let's do this!!



Saturday, September 1, 2012

a different season/different emotions

I AM STILL ALIVE!  After going to Uganda, mama had to take a break from life and just lay on the couch with my youngins' playing games, reading books, and watching TV.  Time out for my two middles to watch their newest flips in gymnastics, and the late night talks and games to attend for my oldest two, and last but not least my sweet hubby:)

Preparation for school set in and I am still not finished with all of the "parent nights" at school.  This is the first time in 16 years that I have not had a preschooler at home.  I thought that once my kids got in school, there would be LOADS of time to organize, bake, etc...haha..not so.

 Being in Uganda left my heart feeling empty and desperate to come home and take a closer look at my children that I have through adoption.  As i looked into the eyes of the children in the baby's homes, i couldn't help but see the emptiness in their eyes, which led straight to their hearts.  My heart was broken for them and my head kept leading back to my house in Nashville.  While my children's eyes are not hollow, there is a part of their hearts that still isn't whole, and I can't help but wonder if it ever will be.  My boys I have had since birth.  The only thing they know is my heart and my home.  I know their heartbreak  will come later.  It just will, it is inevitable.  Until then, Mike and I will be on our knees.  Our prayer will be that HE will fill their hearts with his peace and love instead of the abandonment that could very easily creep in.  While it breaks me to think of the future and what we will be dealing with, I am forced to deal with the broken heart at hand, MY SWEET JOSIE LOVE.

Josie will turn SEVEN in February.  It is so hard to believe.  We will forever be dealing with the stigma that is attached to HIV/AIDS.  There have been many children with HIV adopted through Josie's story.  While it brings a smile to my face, it also feels my heart with sadness.  Many of the families that have gone to bring these children home are not willing to disclose that their children are positive.  While I COMPLETELY understand the fear that accompanies what your child might endure because of the virus ( I feel the fear also, thankfully, Christ carries that burden on my behalf)  If we are not willing to walk the journey and bring light to the darkness that accompanies it, then Christ is not glorified in the capacity that HE could be.  Which in the end, just adds more stigma.  This is a VERY controversial subject, one that I really struggle with deep down.  The past several years I have encouraged these adoptions and maybe haven't done my due diligence in preparing hearts on how to deal with life and not fear once you get these children home.  It saddens my heart.  It makes life harder with Josie because there are MANY "positive" children in the US now, sitting in the infectious disease doctors all over the nation, not willing to take a bold stand on behalf of these children and educate  others on the virus.  If their parents are not willing to educate, encourage, and enable then who will be their advocates?  WHy not just hand it over to Christ and walk in the light?  No lies, no secrets, just living our your faith walk that HE has given you to show who HE really is, each and every day.  is it hard? YES.  Does it make you more dependent on Him? YES.  Does it free your family up to live out LOUD the journey that HE has given you? YES.  Does it release you from the fear that satan  has you bound in? YES.  Does it make my heart ache that fear overrides Christ? ABSOLUTELY.

I have been so focused on getting Josie Love walking, talking, and healthy that there hasn't been a need to think about her heart.  We had to get her "living" before we could focus on anything else.    As she has matured and is interacting with more people and living life normally, and as i look deeper into her soul, she is a broken little girl.  The negligence in her life the first three years has left cracks that only Christ can fill.  Mike and I  spent time with a counselor last week trying to "unpack" her past and future and I was left with a heavy heart.  The first few years of her life are TOTALLY blank.  To go back and   try to fill in the cracks feels totally overwhelming.  BUT, we will and HE will.

Many people go into the adoption process not understanding the depth of heartbreak that it will leave. (hence the disruptions)  MOST people have no idea how broken these children are on the inside because the outside looks "normal."  I PROMISE you, if you do not deal with abandonment issues once coming home, you WILL deal with them at some point.  IT IS PART of the adoption process.  Your child might be 18, but at some point, you will HAVE to unpack that part of their heart that is closed.  IT is NOT for the faint at heart, it is HARD, will be HARD, and makes your heart feel SO heavy that it is suffocating.

SO, what to do?  pray.  pray each and every day for Christ to enter into their hearts NOW.  That while they are too young to grasp HIM, they will FEEL HIM in a mighty way.  That RIGHT NOW, HE will fill their hearts with peace that you can NEVER do as a mom or dad.  These children are broken on the inside (EVERY ONE OF THEM)  and HE has to intercede on our behalves because we will NEVER be enough.

Join me in praying for all of these children.  Pray for all of the people that are in "process" of adoption, that they KNOW what they are getting into...that it is HARD.  (maybe not in the beginning but at some point it will be)  and last but not least,  pray for my heart so that if one more person asks me if adoption is a "fad" that i don't punch them right in the face.




Thursday, July 12, 2012

life at home: "re-entry"

It never ceases to amaze me how difficult the "re-entry" back into my normal life can be.  My body clock is SO off...i am wide awake every morning at 3:30 am.  I am FREEZING. who knew that your body could get use to no air condition and then when you have it again...you FREEZE?!?!  My husband is SO glad to have me back....have I mentioned what a rockstar he is?  he took my kids (6) and 3 friends to the lake for the night of fourth of July....R.O.C.K.S.T.A.R.  The other night, he made me promise that I wouldn't ever take off and leave him for another man...and leave  him with all of these "crazy kids!"( hahaa)  But most of all, the time table of America.  every thing moves at a CONSTANT pace...we go from one thing to another.  BY THE CLOCK.  One of the most bittersweet things about Africa is there is NO time frame.  life moves on each and every day minute by minute.  if you are late..it is okay.  EVERYBODY is late.  plans change moment to moment and nobody cares.  HERE..if a plan changes, you have to contact the person, then they have to contact three more people to change their plans and the chain reaction ends up affecting like 30 people for just one change of plans!  If you are in Africa visiting, it is refreshing.  If you are there adopting, it makes you want to put a gun to your head!! Coming back home to children that want to "go and do each and every minute of the day" is about to kill me...especially since I am up for 18 hours of the day.  Katie often tells me that bringing her two youngest to America is much more difficult than having 13 in Africa and that is the reason..the pace..it is much more slow.  So, I am up at the crack of dawn, complaining to you.  In reality, I am SO thankful to be home.  Absence DEFINITELY makes the heart grow fonder.  I LOVE my family and my life.  I LOVE knowing that HE has me in the palm of HIS hand and that I can feel HIS presence each and every moment.  I LOVE having to rely on HIM for every single thing in my life...because, the truth is, my life is MASS CHAOS (another revelation while being gone!)  I love my husband more that life itself...did I mention that he is a rockstar?

As I think back over my time away, there are a few things that I want to  live by daily.  The needs around me are TOO many.  So, I have a choice.  to feel COMPLETELY overwhelmed.  OR to meet each need as I am faced with it.  each person.  each appointment.  each bath.  each meal.  each  medicine.  each  NEED by itself, with nothing attached but what is RIGHT in front of me every minute of the day.  It is baby steps through life.  we are NOT guaranteed tomorrow, only today.  SO, I will live each day, moment by moment.  NOW, the hard part is dealing with everyone around me.  People want commitments for the next 3 weeks.  A timetable...that is how America works.  The thought of it makes me feel like I am drowning.  I will not fall into the pit of DEMAND.  day by day...survival.

I want to remember how 98% of the rest of the world lives.  Some with no water or food or clothes.  BUT with a smile and thankfulness that they are alive.  I want to HOLD onto the JOY that only HE can give me rather than the empty happiness that the world has to offer.

I want to CLING to HIS word and HIS promises that HE will NEVER leave me NOR forsake me.   When my days here on earth are DEFEATING, that HE will give me the perfect amount of strength!

I can't forget the mother who locked her 12 month old twins up in a hut  from morning til dark to go out and search for food.  Their empty eyes, peeling skin, and swollen bodies from being so malnourished.  The look on their faces as I spooned food into their mouths and when the bowl was empty..they cried for more....  bowl after bowl after bowl.

I will never forget the twins that were covered in open wounds from syphilis.

the children that tested positive for HIV....will they get the meds that they need or die?

REALITY....we all need a dose of it.


Deuteronomy 4:40
Keep his decrees and commands, which I am giving you today, so that it may go well with you and your children after you and that you may live long in the land the LORD your God gives you for all time.






Friday, July 6, 2012

A fabulous day and a little clarification

I received an email from the US, that I am so thankful for.  I never know who wants to be mentioned on my blog or who doesn't, so typically, I steer clear from any mention of names unless i have permission.  All of that said, the person that asked us to bring the formula and diapers to Damalie was Brantley Freeman with voices4thevoiceless.org.  I LOVE what this organization does.  I LOVE their hearts!  They have been collecting funds to  purchase land and BUILD Damalie a permanent place to care for all of the babies that she has in her custody.  When we met Damalie the first day, she told us that she had some friends for America that we helping her to have a permanent place.  However, she HAD to move into a place with water and electricity by this past Monday or the children would be taken.  SO, all of that said, the house that we rented on her behalf is just temporary.  She will only be there until the new place is built by Voices 4 the Voiceless.

While we are just an extension of what is already being done for this ministry, it helps my heart to see the body of Christ joining hearts in providing for people in need. HIS timing is perfect.

I spent a lot of time yesterday talking to Damalie about logistics of licensing, legal papers on all of the children, how money will be spent (not given straight to her but through the correct channels) that will best benefit her and these babies.  She has a clear picture of what has to be done to care for these babies on the Ugandan side and what has to be in order for us to help on the US side.  I am thankful that Voices 4 the Voiceless had already laid the groundwork so that she is able to understand.  The need in her home is SO great.  We have some doctors with us that examined the babies yesterday.  Several are severely malnourished, a few had malaria, syphilis, eye infections and diarrhea are common and we were able to test for HIV.  While a few showed to be positive, not nearly as many as I thought MIGHT be, so it was a blessing.  We spent the rest of the afternoon helping to feed dinner.  I am thankful to see that she has Ugandan women to help, and hopeful that the children that we diagnosed with sickness can get the meds that are needed and get better.


We are closing in on the last few days of our trip.  pray for our hearts to stay open for what HE has for us, and that we can see things clearly..just as HE sees them:)





Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Uganda day 3




 We have fallen in love with baby David at Katie's house.  Grace and I can't keep our hands off of him. This is a pic of him and his mom with Grace.  He is malnourished, so Katie is giving him formula and feeding his mother so that her milk is becoming more rich and substantial for him to be able to flourish:)



We spent the morning in town shopping for African paintings and other fun souvenirsJ  After eating lunch in town,  we headed into the karomojong village with Katie to pick up a lady that has a baby that had been burned.  She had a kerosene lamp burning  in her hut and it fell over and caught the foam mattress on fire that the baby was laying on.  It burned one side of the baby’s body.   When the mother brought the baby to Katie, the burn was packed with rabbit fur ( a custom this village has done for many years when they have a large wound.)  Katie took the baby to the hospital and the doctors refused to treat the child.  So, of course, Katie took the child home and pulled the hair out one by one with tweezers for hours upon hours. Katie redresses the burn each day, and it is actually healing really well. 

After dinner, I went into town with Katie and Anna Bliss.  We went to the store to buy drinks and snacks for a man that has a hurt leg. As I walked into the hospital room, I was OVERCOME with the WORST stinch I have EVER smelled in my entire life.  The smell of rotting flesh is like NONE OTHER!  From his knee to his ankle is open flesh, his shin bone is the color of charcoal and all around the edges is green goop…. We are not sure WHAT exactly has happened, but DO know that there is two choices.  1) amputate 2) strip the leg down to bone and muscle ONLY and treat it every day for the next year to make sure that infection doesn’t set in after it is all cleaned out.  We will know tomorrow what they decide. 

Never a dull moment here….

Uganda day 4

I could barely get my eyes open this morning!  Who knows?  Maybe it was the smell from the rotting leg from last night that sealed my eyes together?!? (haha)

I went into the karomojong village with Katie this morning.  There was a little part of me that was dreading it abit.  Every time I leave there, I am SO overwhelmed with the needs, and I feel SO helpless.  I feel a bit of anxiety on what my part is in the BIG picture of these people’s lives.  I pray for them, but it never seems to be enough.  The teenagers on our trip, stayed at Katie’s house with her girls and baked cinnamon rolls, banana bread, and cleaned out her pantry and medical closet.  Susan, Renee, and Julie all went back into town to purchase mattresses, brooms, formula, diapers, and medicine for the babys home that we found earlier in the week. 




We had bible study with the Amazima “bead ladies.”  Katie is teaching them about the names of Christ.  She sent a plaster (band aid) around the circle and  asked in what way the band aid described Christ.   She taught them that Christ is the “HEALER” in our lives.  How does He heal?  By prayer, by miracles, etc…What does He heal?  Our sicknesses, our heart…heals us from  addictions.  IT WAS STRONG.  She had them read scripture and applied it to their lives.  I was in awe of how applicable she made it to their daily lives.  When she was finished, they asked the “vista” to pray.  I WAS SO HUMBLED to be sitting in a circle with these women,  much less, to be lifting them up to my sweet Savior in prayer.  My dread of the morning turned into thankfulness.  I am SO thankful that He had me right there in THAT moment to feel HIS presence in such a mighty way.  The red dirt smothered feet, tattered clothing, smell of burning trash, and the naked little bodies running all around brought a smile to my face and joy to my heart. 

We returned to Katie’s and picked up the rest of my group.  We headed straight over to the new baby’s home that Renee, Susan, and Julie bought in town today.  The lady that runs the home started crying as we pulled through the gates with a van filled with MORE goodies for her and her babies!  We changed diapers, folded clothes, and promised her that we would return on Thursday to test all of the baby’s for HIV/AIDS.  Once again, tears were flowing as she explained that she desired to test them all, but it was going to cost 200,000 shillings to do it and she did not have the funds.  I AM SO EXCITED to be a part of this “GOD walk”

There is absolutely NOTHING like it!!




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suzanne
I am a lover of Jesus. I have the most fabulous husband that anyone woman could ask for. The Lord has blessed us with 7 beautiful children. I started this blog so that friends and family could follow our trip to Uganda to visit Katie Davis. I have decided to keep blogging to help bring orphan awareness to the world around me.
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