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Hope that only HE can give...
I am on the plane, headed home. I am so anxious to see Mike and my six children that I left at home. As I think back over the week, I am completely overwhelmed. I keep trying to gather my thoughts. We saw SO MUCH NEED, that I really do not even have a place in my brain to file it away. I have busied myself with reading my novel and watching movies. I am 22 hours into the travel and decided to open my laptop and try to figure out exactly what it is that I am feeling in my heart. There is no way to ever feel like I can heal all of the pain. There is also no way to help everyone in need. There are so many mommy’s that have dull eyes. No brightness to their face at all. They seem so defeated. There are some that smile continuously. Joy oozes from every pore of their body. Some are ill, others are healthy. Some Ugandans seem to detest Americans. Others seem to enjoy us visiting.
We visited one of the children’s homes at nap time. As we walked through each room there were bunks against every wall. Every bed was full. Each room was full of bunks, full of children. There was room after room after room after room…full of bunks, full of children. I was walking aside the man that was leading the “tour.” I asked him how many of the children were actually “orphaned.” He replied “about 75% the other 25% have family that cannot keep them, but haven’t terminated their rights.” I asked him how many were HIV positive. He answered “four…a 1 year old, a 2 year old, a 3 year old, and a 4 year old.” I couldn’t help but think, “then why is it SOOOO hard to adopt?! Why does the process take SO long? Every day that goes by, is another day that a little boy/girl is lonely. “
Stats show that if a child hasn’t accepted Christ by the time they are ten years old, there is only a 24% chance that they ever will. Satan knows this. If he can keep these children without families then he has a better chance of owning them. THAT is why adoption is so difficult. THAT is what he uses to dissuade us from helping these children.
THE WAIT…..THE WAIT…. THE WAIT, we are SO impatient!! All week long I thought about how spoiled we are as Americans. We typically get what we want, when we want it. We have “drive thru” reataurants, we have “drive thru” banks, we have “drive thru” grocery stores (I LOVE this one…it makes my life SO much easier!!) We do everything online…click of a button, and POOF! It is ours! Heaven forbid us have to wait!! There are so many families that are going through “private adoptions” to get it done faster. While MOST “private adoptions” are legit, there are some that are not. A mom hands her malnourished child over to an American in hopes that they can help her nurse them back to health and then give her back…she never sees her baby again. It happens all of the time. Because of our IMPATIENCE, foreigners can make money. There are RED flags everywhere in Uganda right now. I wouldn’t be surprised if the embassy didn’t shut down again because of it…..same in Ethiopia. … Agencies under investigation. Satan is LOVING this!!! He is using our “I want it now” attitudes to work against us. AND IT IS WORKING!!!
I have been there…the wait IS awful!!! But doesn’t God know us? Doesn’t HE know the timing that is best for us. It’s funny how we feel the Lord call us to adopt, bring a child home, even a “special needs” child…(the wait isn’t as long for them…aren’t we all special needs?) give a child a family…yet, after that calling…WE’LL DO THE REST! We’ll make it happen! In our time!! Not HIS. Because that’s what we do! We are in control, so we’ll make it happen. Those of you that are in process and in the WAIT….please be encouraged!! He is in control. He has your child picked out for you. HE loves that child more than you can even fathom. He’s got YOU in the palm of HIS hand!!
THAT is what I am clinging to right now. That HE has those women with the dull eyes and no joy in the palm of HIS hand. He loves them. He will care for them, and at the end of the day, they will spend eternity with HIM. That is HOPE.
Meanwhile, I will love my husband well. I will love my children well. I will teach them about HIM. The only ONE that can ever make them feel WHOLE and have joy. The true joy that only HIS love can bring.
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About Me
- suzanne
- I am a lover of Jesus. I have the most fabulous husband that anyone woman could ask for. The Lord has blessed us with 7 beautiful children. I started this blog so that friends and family could follow our trip to Uganda to visit Katie Davis. I have decided to keep blogging to help bring orphan awareness to the world around me.
13 comments:
Thank you so much for this post. I needed to be reminded tonight that God is in control of the timing of our adoption. We started our process in 2008 and are now in the final few weeks. Our son should be home within a month, and these last few weeks of waiting seem to be so hard. Thank you for the reminder that God has this adoption in His hands.
Tears rolling down my eyes I read this post and I try to fathom this life. I try to fathom the babies waiting to be loved. It is hard to swallow just hearing about it, let alone seeing it all. Thank you for showing me this world, these babies, for opening up my heart and God-willing, one day adopting. You are a blessing and the work you are doing is awe inspiring. God Bless, safe travels.
Great post. I saw the red flags too and I see panicked Americans shopping for a child - any child. Don't get me wrong, I understand the push on some levels because it take determination to adopt. Once I told a mom to take a media break and let God renew that call with in her, and the next thing I knew she was writing that she was sick of people telling her to spend time with God.
We can not take God out of adoption, poverty, our call as mothers, wives..... HE IS THE ALPHA OMEGA!
I love this post! It so touches on some of the ethics of adoption that can sadly get overlooked when we rush into trying to get those children. I breaks my heart when I hear about the manipulation and dishonestly that can sometimes occur. Thank you for this truth and your unique perspective on it.
Thank you, thank you. I needed this. We have been waiting for the referrals for our two little guys from Uganda for almost 7 months. I saw your previous post about all the amazing children in the orphanages and I felt so frustrated that we were trying to adopt and our hands are tied at this point. Praise the Lord, the timing is in His hands and we know that in the end Satan will not prevail!
Thanks,Suzanne. I have been getting so discouraged lately because I feel like our adoption journey has come to a stand still. No progress. No words of encouragement. Criticisms, etc. One of my fears is that we are not DOING enough to make things happen faster (namely in the fundraising department; can't do much to push the paperwork). I know God's timing is perfect. We WILL complete this adoption at the right time whether I mess up along the way or not. I'm trying, and God knows that. He'll fix any mistakes along the way. Thanks for posting.
When you are over jet lag and find a quiet moment to yourself....I know that part has you smiling:-) take a peek at Ann Voskamp blog post June 15, 2011. You will enjoy what she wrote about....Katie...and, also, Ann writes very similar to your final paragraph, love well, whoever you are with and wherever you are....the Holy Spirit is really moving, when I read this blog post of yours, Suzanne, I really got chills thinking how very similar your thoughts were to Ann's.....give it a peek. June 15, 2011 blog post, www.aholyexperience.com
praise God for a mom who isn't afraid to tell other mamas to be patient and wait on the Lord. SO many adoptive parents have told us to just 'hurry up and adopt!" when we feel that God has called us to wait right now. HE will do it, and HE will received the glory, it's not about us. He sees every tear cried, every lonely child, every hungry baby....HE knows. And sometimes He calls us to immediate action, other times He calls us to wait, and to pray, and to grow. Thank you for speaking up about this. Too many impatient (and Christian) adoptive parents could ruin it for the rest of those who are listening to the Lord and waiting for His timing, and not trying to take the reins and control everything themselves.
Thank you. I am waiting. I hear your words, and feel them. My little girl is 5, but will probably be 6 when she comes home. I just want to hug her. I have faith. It will happen. This is a nice reminder. Thank you.
Thank you for this post. It really spoke to me. The wait can be so frustrating and difficult to understand when there are so many children growing up in orphanages. You are so right that only He can give us hope. Thanks for the reminder to fix my eyes on Jesus.
Thank you for writing about the ethics of Uganda. I found adoption and certainly the ethics of IA to be tipping over the knifed edge and sliding into a scary place. It breaks my heart for all that will be left behind as well as for the children and first families who will become vicim to "creating" orphans or IA. :(
Thank you so much for sharing this...right when I needed to read it. We are almost 2 years into our adoption but my husband and I have recently been researching HIV adoption and I was wondering if I might be able to talk with you via email about it. If you have a minute, could you email me at katarrack (at) gmail (dot) com. Thank you so much! www.heartsforrwanda.blogspot.com
Thank you for the encouragement in the wait. Just had friends that hardly had adoption on their radar have a 12 day old baby dropped in their lap (so to speak) domestically, while our international adoption seems to drag on and on and currently be at a stand still. I know there is purpose in the wait and He sees what we don't see:) Thank you for going before us and speaking Truth!! You are a blessing:) Just sat with my mom and separated 100 necklaces from 147millionorphans...ready to sell!!
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