While Katie was home we were talking about November being "orphan awareness month". Her response was "there is a month reminding people that there are orphans??!" the look on her face showed that she was SOOOO perplexed. It was a sad reality for me that we have to have a special "Orphan Sunday" for believers to acknowledge all of the orphans in the world.

This past week Facebook and Twitter have been blowing up with "thankfulness." I can't help but think back to my conversation with Katie and think "it has to be a holiday for us to share how thankful that we are?!?"

In my Jesus Calling this week she talks about how we CHOOSE to be thankful. We should choose to be thankful each and every day. EVEN THOUGH each and every day might be difficult. I LOVE the holidays. I LOVE to build a fire, snuggle on the couch, and for each and every one of my little chickens to be gathered in my hen house. BUT, being at home each and every day is HARD. It is exhausting. My kitchen stays a mess from everybody eating constantly, my laundry is overflowing out of my laundry room, and my older ones go to bed WAY late, and my little ones get up WAY early. The holidays leave this mama WEARY.

We don't have to act like it is all bliss. Christ wants it to be hard, so we rely on HIM. In my weariness, I am SO thankful. I wouldn't trade these dark circles under my eyes for a fresh face and wide opened eyes. Most days I CHOOSE to be thankful. Feeling thankful doesn't come easy when my four year old is screaming, I'm giving Josie Love her meds, breaking up arguments between my two middle girls...I CHOOSE to be thankful.

If I give thanks regardless of my feelings, then HE will give me joy regardless of my circumstances. Finding JOY in the hard isnt always easy, it is still JOYFUL, and for THAT I am THANKFUL.

There have been 3 times in my life that I felt that my heart was truly broken…not just heartache, the kind of pain where I could hardly breathe and I felt as though I was going to die. My heart hurt so bad, that I felt like I would never recover. Domestic adoption opened my heart and eyes to not only a child in need, but the heart of a mother. Through our adoptions I fell in love with my birth moms. I couldn’t help but think about my bio children. I would NEVER give them up. NO WAY, it would be my VERY LAST RESORT. I would have to know WITHOUT doubt, that my children would not survive if I kept them with me. As I looked into their beautiful brown eyes, I saw myself. They were just like me, just dealt a different hand at life. They had no hope, and no one for support. All alone. Their mothers heart was the same. They LOVED deeply. Not only to give their child up…but not knowing where they might end up…in the state system or with a family?

A few years later, JosieLoves birth mom was walking down a red dirt road. I cant help but wonder what she was thinking. Had she recovered from her delivery? How did she know that her child needed medical care? Was it her droopy eyes? Was she so ill that she couldn’t care for her baby? I cannot fathom laying my child on the steps of the hospital steps, walking away from my child, NEVER to see them again. A mother, just like me, SAME mother’s heart. After she left, did her milk come in? Did she have a reminder DAILY of the decision that she made that would FOREVER break her heart? Six years later, is she wondering “did I do the right thing?” is she even still alive? A mother’s heart…just like mine.

I had NO IDEA when we started the paperwork for a domestic adoption 6 years ago, that my life would be WRECKED. My heart would ache more than I ever knew was possible. The scripture Proverbs 24:12 would ring in my ears for the rest of my life. “Once you have seen, you cannot pretend that you do not know. For the Father that knows your every thought, KNOWS that you KNOW! “

How can I not help? How can I not do everything possible to help these birth moms that have NO choice but to give their child away? I HAVE to educate, I HAVE to share what I have seen and how my heart hurts. I have to call on HIM to sustain me and give me grace. I have to realize that not everyone has seen what I have seen.

If I could have one wish, it would be this: I could take my heart out and let every “believer” FEEL what my heart feels. If you could just FEEL and KNOW what I do about Christ’s heart for these widows and orphans. There would NOT be 147 MILLION orphans in the world. You would be WRECKED for the less fortunate the same way that I am and my sweet Savior is.

The past few months have been full of WARFARE. I think Katie coming into town, Tosha bringing Abigail home, and the fact that we have hundreds of families fundraising for their adoptions with their gear has made satan just a little agitated. our team of women at 147 might as well have had targets on our foreheads. WOW! he sure does like to wreak havoc. He attacked Katies body, strep throat and then blisters all in her mouth and tongue....(you think he wanted her to speak while being at home?) The list goes on and on from Tosha getting sick to husbands getting sick...Gwen and I are weary. There was a point today where we both wanted to just crawl back in the bed and pull the covers over our heads!

So, rather than stay in bed...we SHALL NOT BE DEFEATED! we are assuming since you guys read our blogs that you must have a heart for orphans also. We want you to join us in lifting the fatherless up to their HEAVENLY father each and every day.

Call it a campaign, initiative, or project ... The name is not important, but the ACT is ... 147 Million Orphans is launching PRAY DOWN THE NUMBER AT 1:47 PM project Nov. 1st ... It is simply an invitation for us all to join together and allow God to make an impact through prayer for the orphans of the world !!!

This is how it all got started...words from gwen:

Let me tell you how it happened ... I always know when God has a direction for me by the way he delivers the message ... IT SIMPLY POPS IN MY HEAD WITH ALL THE INSTRUCTIONS AND DETAILS ATTACHED ... I know it is ALL him when I have not been thinking of the idea, up late at night trying to figure it out, or even have it on a TO DO list ... IT JUST POPS IN MY HEAD (kinda like my first 147 Million Orphan's shirt for our adoption) ...So the story goes like this ... Emily and I were on the phone talking about the wait for everyone in the adoption process ... We were talking about how the process is a MUST and when delays, road blocks, and mountains come our way that we can not lose hope in the FATHER'S PERFECT PLAN ... And then as soon as I hung up the phone God whispers - PRAY MY DAUGHTER PRAY ... GET ALL YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS TO PRAY W/ YOU AT 1:47 pm DAILY ... The orphan crisis is not a quick fix, but a long hard journey with the LORD trusting him and loving his people !!!

SO WE AT 147 ARE ASKING YOU TO COME ALONG SIDE OF US AND HELP US TO ASK OTHERS TO PRAY DOWN THE NUMBER AT 1:47 PM ... where ever you are just stop and lift up orphans to the FATHER - pray for friend's adoptions, pray for the orphan who is hungry, pray the for the orphan that is sick, pray for the families sitting on the fence about adoption, pray for orphan/adoption ministries, pray for those serving orphans, ... WHATEVER GOD LAYS ON YOUR HEART ABOUT THE FATHERLESS - pray pray pray !!!

put in on your calendar, make it an appt. on your phone, write it on your hand, put a sticky note on your mirror or do them all ... LET'S ALL STAND TOGETHER, WATCH OUR FAITH GROW AND THE NUMBER GO DOWN !!!

thanks for all of the gluten free recipes! I'm hoping to make all of your yummy suggestions sometime soon!

My weekend has been filled with Homecoming game, get together for Katie, Homecoming dance, after-party at my house, fundraiser for Katie, a trip to Birmingham, and fall break starting. I was so proud of my daughter Grace. She and a few friends were determined to get up and travel after being up late for Homecoming.( a few pics for you!) We spent Sunday in at David Platt's church because Katie was speaking. Afterwards, we had lunch with his sweet wife Heather. My belief that behind every good man, there is a FABULOUS woman...proved to be true! She is an ANGEL! Gwen and I have been friends with her via Facebook. It was such a blessing for our hearts to weave together another layer of friendship face to face, since we all hold the same love and passion for what life should hold while living here on earth. We are praying her to China as soon as possible to bring her sweet baby home!

You would think as busy and as exhausting as my weekend was that I would walk away depleted. It was just the opposite, while my body is weary, my cup is so full! David's sermon was so challenging. He spoke about our first step being salvation. Our destination being the Father and not heaven. The second step is the HOLY SPIRIT, being filled with Him and me using my gifts for His glory. He explained that the fathers must go first, and the rest of the house will follow. in our society, fathers have lost their way. the abundance of materialism has led to pride, and through pride our minds get clouded of what His will is for us rather than what "we" have accomplished. Our "gifts" become forgotten and ignored and we try to thrive within ourselves instead of how we were made to serve and using our gifts. He then, challenged us to simplify our lives so that we can focus on what HE is calling us to do and BE in life. Is it to increase my giving? calling me to sell something? leading me to sacrifice? serve nearby? serve on the other side of the world? short-term? long- term? ABANDON my life to Him.

I really can't do his sermon justice. His passion is so contagious, I walked out of the sanctuary wanting to sell or give everything I have away. FOR HIS GLORY, so that I might not be clouded with materialism so that I can see my calling and gifts CLEARLY. Katie explained that if you look around at your circumstances, you get TOTALLY overwhelmed with all of the needs. Her goal is to see the ONE that is standing in front of her, help that ONE, then take the next step to see the next person that is in her path. His manna is only good for ONE day, it is ruined by tomorrow. We have no guarantees for the future or the next day, only for TODAY.

Gwen and I fly out Thursday to Arizona for the Together for Adoption conference. Pray for the families that will be there to open their hearts to what God has for each of them and they will be MOVED into action on behalf of the least of these! Pray for our families while we are gone:)

I had multiple people approach me and tell me how much my blog ministers to their heart. It was SUCH a blessing. Thanks for your encouragement!

The past few weeks have been a complete whirlwind. With Katie being home, we have tried to fit in as much quality time as possible in between her “jetsetting” from state to state on her book tour. I cannot believe that she will be heading home to Uganda in less than a week. It makes my heart sad for me and happy for her. I cannot wait to see how the surgery heals Grace’s leg. I am going to pray that in NO time, she is running all around the yard with the rest of her sisters. There was a day when I said the same thing about Josie Love…we BELIEVED God for it, and it ALL came to fruition. Because HE is the ULTIMATE healer, and He WILL do what HE says that HE WILL DO!

The past few weeks, I have had my nose in books learning all about “Celiac Disease”. (which is a really scary word for “gluten allergy”) One of my children has been diagnosed with it, so I have had my nose to the grindstone figuring it all out. I am at a really good place. I have learned SO much, and have baked some REALLY YUMMY things! All of my children have jumped on board and helped with this new journey that we are on. On Tuesday and Thursdays Caleb and I turn into “Betty Crocker” and “the Pillsbury dough boy” except that we do not use any of their “boxed items”..it is mostly from scratch. I have found some really good “baking mixtures” that make DELICIOUS cookies, brownies, cakes, etc…so I am thankful. I have always cooked dinner. Through the years, depending on the season of preschoolers, about three times a week. I had forgotten how much better food tastes when it is made from scratch. I turn on my worship music, get out my sifter and I am unstoppable!!! I had forgotten how much I REALLY enjoy baking. Maybe what I thought to be a nightmare, Is going to be a blessing? It made my heart sing when all of my children were eating my chicken wings tonight…ooohing and aaahing at how yummy they were. (Just a homemade bbq sauce that I whipped up...no biggie! Hahahha) I won’t mention that before they started eating, I told them that the first one that complained about my dinner was going STRAIGHT TO A BATH AND BED and if they didn’t believe me…JUST TRY ME!!!

It’s the little reminders that God gives us to remind us how much HE loves us... when they kiss you each night before bed and say “I love you Mommy!” The beautiful trees that look as though they have been hand painted all different colors this time of year. But, it’s also the BIG reminders when you bake for 5 hours straight that they are TRULY blessings. Little treasured gifts that God hand picked especially for me so that I can giggle during the day. What would our world be like without a childs laughter? WOW! We are truly blessed.

If any of you have a gluten free recipe that you think is a “MUST HAVE” for me, send it my way!