CHECK OUT OUR NEW VIDEO!  14.7% OFF THE ENTIRE 147 MILLION ORPHANS STORE ... Make your Christmas presents mean something this season .... Nov. 19-24th !!!   FAB new tees, HOODIES/SWEATSHIRTS, jewelry from Uganda/Honduras/Haiti, coffee mugs, hats, HANDMADE BAGS, toddler & youth gear ... WE have something for everyone AND MORE IMPORTANTLY your gift will change lives !!!

The past few weeks have been FULL for 147 Million Orphans.  We had our VERY FIRST FUNDRAISER!  After visiting Megan in Haiti last spring we realized that she needs a medical facility. The closest one is an hour away.  She has 600 children in her school and feeds 700 a day..imagine all of the coughs, runny noses, HIV/AIDS, and not to mention women having babies!! SOOO, we came home and our wheels started turning!  She had her builder draw up plans and told us it was going to cost $250,000! (eeeeek!!!) There will be a pharmacy on the top floor, and dental and medical on the bottom.  It will be  "hub" for people to come and get tested for HIV/AIDS, and if the are positive, she will send them to get meds!! I AM SO EXCITED!!!  Needless to say, we started working FERVENTLY on how to raise the funds. ( no grass growing under our feet!)
In the middle of our preparations, we received the call that Jan ( my last post) had been taken to the hospital with stroke symptoms.  The next day, Michelle, Gwen, and I went to the hospital to visit her and she shared that she had been diagnosed with a brain tumor.  Now, let me just back up and say that we are the "four amigos."  we do everything together.  We talk all day long, every day, making 147 ROLL.  In my last post I sent you to read Anna Bliss's perspective.  Because honestly, I was SO numb from hearing the news that I didn't know what to say.  The biopsy showed that it is cancerous.  She went back into surgery on Wednesday and there were able to remove 90% of the tumor.  It is in her speech/memory section of her brain, so they didn't want to go too deep for fear of causing damage.  We were told that she probably wouldn't speak for awhile and she might have to learn sign language.  (the words would be in her head, but she wouldn't be able to get them out.)  Miraculously, she woke from surgery talking like normal!!
Over the past few weeks, God has shown himself in a MIGHTY way.  Our fundraiser went off without a hitch!  Megan was in town and shared her heart.  Jan was able to come!!  we raised $100,000!!  The Holy Spirit was so heavy in the room.  My heart felt as though it was going to explode.
Gwen and I traveled to Knoxville to speak to a 3,000 member church.  It was AWESOME.  The heartbeat of the people there was all about giving and serving others.  Our hearts were filled with hope that more churches will see the heart of Jesus as we left town.
We had our 147 Christmas sale. (shop with purpose)  We spent the day listening to Christmas music and filling bags of gifts for  people to give away.  And the icing on the cake was that Jan was able to be there with us!
God has given her such strength the past few weeks.  She has more JOY and is sharing her heart and HIS purpose for her life and others.  IT HAS BEEN AMAZING to watch her share HIS story of her life that HE is writing each and every day.
This week I was thinking back of the past few weeks and realized that HE is writing a story in my life each and every day also.  My days aren't filled with doctors appointments or scheduling surgery, but they are filled with living out strength, patience, perseverance, and grace.  HE is in the small things too. He is in the everyday, all day long and is writing a story with our lives.  Why does it take a brain tumor to make us realize that we ought to live each day with intention?  Going through the motions of baths, laundry, meals, school distract us.  While those things HAVE to happen so that our homes do not collapse, there is a bigger picture here.  OUR LIVES are a colorful, beautiful picture that God is creating and we do not even realize it.  What do I want my picture to look like?  I get to draw/paint it, I have the opportunity to choose what I want it to be filled with....hhhmmmm...clutter or INTENTIONAL things?
The past few weeks have given me perspective.  One day when I stand before the Lord, I want my life painting to be FULL of colors, pictures, and LOVE.


www.147millionorphans.org

This week has been a week of falling on my face before the Lord, crying out "if you have EVER been the great physician Lord, HEAL my sweet sister!"  Many of you might remember my post "Never underestimate your walk..".  Anna Bliss (angel on earth)  was serving in Uganda alongside Katie.  Anna Bliss's mom (Jan) works for 147 Million Orphans.  Three years ago, she called us out of the clear blue and told us that God told her to call us and see how she could serve.  Her children are older, she had extra time and wanted to serve in a mighty way.  SOOOO, Gwen and I put her to work!  She is SOLD out for Jesus like none other, and speaks BOLDLY about His sovereignty.  She has done every job to be done at 147 without complaining. We have all been SO busy planning for our fundraiser the past few weeks.   This last week, we received some devastating news.  In Anna Bliss's words....click here: LOVE WITH ABANDON.

Hello blog world!   it's been too long..i am going to try and do better.  the truth is, there hasn't been much to say. Day to day gets hectic and the last thing i want to do is open my computer once i get everyone in the bed at night.  I'll admit, I am the worst blogger EVER!

 I went to the SHOW HOPE fundraiser last night and cried most of the night.  Frances Chan spoke, and BROUGHT IT.  They had the cutest little boy from China named YOYO come on stage and sing AMAZING GRACE.   I closed my eyes and felt as though I was at heavens gates.

Finally, the Wright family came on stage.  Several years ago, Rebekah Wright emailed me and told me that she and her husband were feeling called to adopt. Their hearts were being tugged towards domestic.  I walked alongside her through their process, and watched them bring home precious little baby Caleb.  We all go to the same school, so I have been able to watch Caleb go from a newborn to a lively toddler.  This year, they ventured to China and brought home Isaac.  His story isn't as "cute and cuddly" as bringing home a newborn.  He was at Maria's big House of Hope.  Issac can't walk, when not in his wheelchair, he pulls himself around by his upper body.  He has a HUGE smile pasted on his face each and every day as she is bringing him into school.  Rebekah asked the audience "if fear and money were not an issue, would you adopt?"  Tears started streaming down my cheeks, as I thought about the paralyzing fear that consumed me when the doctor told me that Josie had TB and HIV.   It started ringing in my ears.."fear and money, fear and money, fear and money."

Genesis 15:1
[ The LORD’s Covenant With Abram ] After this, the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision: “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward. ”
Genesis 46:3
“I am God, the God of your father,” he said. “Do not be afraid to go down to Egypt, for I will make you into a great nation there.
Deuteronomy 3:22
Do not be afraid of them; the LORD your God himself will fight for you.”
Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

There are MANY verses telling us not to fear...He will provide.  

As Steven Curtis Chapman led us in singing.  I stood there with my eyes closed praying that HE would remove all fear in His body of Christ.  Think of what we could accomplish with no fear in our lives. Adoption aside, think of everything else that we could do for the glory of Christ if we had absolutely NO FEAR!   
No fear = FAITH

If we just had FAITH without FEAR, think of what we could do for the kingdom of Christ. 
Matthew 6:30
If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?
Matthew 8:26
He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
Matthew 17:20
He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

I have been anxious about the amount of money that 147 Million Orphans is trying to raise for the medical clinic in Haiti.  $200,000. is a LOT of money.  I am turning it over to HIM, RIGHT NOW.  He WILL provide, for he loves those kiddos more than I do! 

Fear completely paralyzes our FAITH. 

I AM STILL ALIVE!  After going to Uganda, mama had to take a break from life and just lay on the couch with my youngins' playing games, reading books, and watching TV.  Time out for my two middles to watch their newest flips in gymnastics, and the late night talks and games to attend for my oldest two, and last but not least my sweet hubby:)

Preparation for school set in and I am still not finished with all of the "parent nights" at school.  This is the first time in 16 years that I have not had a preschooler at home.  I thought that once my kids got in school, there would be LOADS of time to organize, bake, etc...haha..not so.

 Being in Uganda left my heart feeling empty and desperate to come home and take a closer look at my children that I have through adoption.  As i looked into the eyes of the children in the baby's homes, i couldn't help but see the emptiness in their eyes, which led straight to their hearts.  My heart was broken for them and my head kept leading back to my house in Nashville.  While my children's eyes are not hollow, there is a part of their hearts that still isn't whole, and I can't help but wonder if it ever will be.  My boys I have had since birth.  The only thing they know is my heart and my home.  I know their heartbreak  will come later.  It just will, it is inevitable.  Until then, Mike and I will be on our knees.  Our prayer will be that HE will fill their hearts with his peace and love instead of the abandonment that could very easily creep in.  While it breaks me to think of the future and what we will be dealing with, I am forced to deal with the broken heart at hand, MY SWEET JOSIE LOVE.

Josie will turn SEVEN in February.  It is so hard to believe.  We will forever be dealing with the stigma that is attached to HIV/AIDS.  There have been many children with HIV adopted through Josie's story.  While it brings a smile to my face, it also feels my heart with sadness.  Many of the families that have gone to bring these children home are not willing to disclose that their children are positive.  While I COMPLETELY understand the fear that accompanies what your child might endure because of the virus ( I feel the fear also, thankfully, Christ carries that burden on my behalf)  If we are not willing to walk the journey and bring light to the darkness that accompanies it, then Christ is not glorified in the capacity that HE could be.  Which in the end, just adds more stigma.  This is a VERY controversial subject, one that I really struggle with deep down.  The past several years I have encouraged these adoptions and maybe haven't done my due diligence in preparing hearts on how to deal with life and not fear once you get these children home.  It saddens my heart.  It makes life harder with Josie because there are MANY "positive" children in the US now, sitting in the infectious disease doctors all over the nation, not willing to take a bold stand on behalf of these children and educate  others on the virus.  If their parents are not willing to educate, encourage, and enable then who will be their advocates?  WHy not just hand it over to Christ and walk in the light?  No lies, no secrets, just living our your faith walk that HE has given you to show who HE really is, each and every day.  is it hard? YES.  Does it make you more dependent on Him? YES.  Does it free your family up to live out LOUD the journey that HE has given you? YES.  Does it release you from the fear that satan  has you bound in? YES.  Does it make my heart ache that fear overrides Christ? ABSOLUTELY.

I have been so focused on getting Josie Love walking, talking, and healthy that there hasn't been a need to think about her heart.  We had to get her "living" before we could focus on anything else.    As she has matured and is interacting with more people and living life normally, and as i look deeper into her soul, she is a broken little girl.  The negligence in her life the first three years has left cracks that only Christ can fill.  Mike and I  spent time with a counselor last week trying to "unpack" her past and future and I was left with a heavy heart.  The first few years of her life are TOTALLY blank.  To go back and   try to fill in the cracks feels totally overwhelming.  BUT, we will and HE will.

Many people go into the adoption process not understanding the depth of heartbreak that it will leave. (hence the disruptions)  MOST people have no idea how broken these children are on the inside because the outside looks "normal."  I PROMISE you, if you do not deal with abandonment issues once coming home, you WILL deal with them at some point.  IT IS PART of the adoption process.  Your child might be 18, but at some point, you will HAVE to unpack that part of their heart that is closed.  IT is NOT for the faint at heart, it is HARD, will be HARD, and makes your heart feel SO heavy that it is suffocating.

SO, what to do?  pray.  pray each and every day for Christ to enter into their hearts NOW.  That while they are too young to grasp HIM, they will FEEL HIM in a mighty way.  That RIGHT NOW, HE will fill their hearts with peace that you can NEVER do as a mom or dad.  These children are broken on the inside (EVERY ONE OF THEM)  and HE has to intercede on our behalves because we will NEVER be enough.

Join me in praying for all of these children.  Pray for all of the people that are in "process" of adoption, that they KNOW what they are getting into...that it is HARD.  (maybe not in the beginning but at some point it will be)  and last but not least,  pray for my heart so that if one more person asks me if adoption is a "fad" that i don't punch them right in the face.

It never ceases to amaze me how difficult the "re-entry" back into my normal life can be.  My body clock is SO off...i am wide awake every morning at 3:30 am.  I am FREEZING. who knew that your body could get use to no air condition and then when you have it again...you FREEZE?!?!  My husband is SO glad to have me back....have I mentioned what a rockstar he is?  he took my kids (6) and 3 friends to the lake for the night of fourth of July....R.O.C.K.S.T.A.R.  The other night, he made me promise that I wouldn't ever take off and leave him for another man...and leave  him with all of these "crazy kids!"( hahaa)  But most of all, the time table of America.  every thing moves at a CONSTANT pace...we go from one thing to another.  BY THE CLOCK.  One of the most bittersweet things about Africa is there is NO time frame.  life moves on each and every day minute by minute.  if you are late..it is okay.  EVERYBODY is late.  plans change moment to moment and nobody cares.  HERE..if a plan changes, you have to contact the person, then they have to contact three more people to change their plans and the chain reaction ends up affecting like 30 people for just one change of plans!  If you are in Africa visiting, it is refreshing.  If you are there adopting, it makes you want to put a gun to your head!! Coming back home to children that want to "go and do each and every minute of the day" is about to kill me...especially since I am up for 18 hours of the day.  Katie often tells me that bringing her two youngest to America is much more difficult than having 13 in Africa and that is the reason..the pace..it is much more slow.  So, I am up at the crack of dawn, complaining to you.  In reality, I am SO thankful to be home.  Absence DEFINITELY makes the heart grow fonder.  I LOVE my family and my life.  I LOVE knowing that HE has me in the palm of HIS hand and that I can feel HIS presence each and every moment.  I LOVE having to rely on HIM for every single thing in my life...because, the truth is, my life is MASS CHAOS (another revelation while being gone!)  I love my husband more that life itself...did I mention that he is a rockstar?

As I think back over my time away, there are a few things that I want to  live by daily.  The needs around me are TOO many.  So, I have a choice.  to feel COMPLETELY overwhelmed.  OR to meet each need as I am faced with it.  each person.  each appointment.  each bath.  each meal.  each  medicine.  each  NEED by itself, with nothing attached but what is RIGHT in front of me every minute of the day.  It is baby steps through life.  we are NOT guaranteed tomorrow, only today.  SO, I will live each day, moment by moment.  NOW, the hard part is dealing with everyone around me.  People want commitments for the next 3 weeks.  A timetable...that is how America works.  The thought of it makes me feel like I am drowning.  I will not fall into the pit of DEMAND.  day by day...survival.

I want to remember how 98% of the rest of the world lives.  Some with no water or food or clothes.  BUT with a smile and thankfulness that they are alive.  I want to HOLD onto the JOY that only HE can give me rather than the empty happiness that the world has to offer.

I want to CLING to HIS word and HIS promises that HE will NEVER leave me NOR forsake me.   When my days here on earth are DEFEATING, that HE will give me the perfect amount of strength!

I can't forget the mother who locked her 12 month old twins up in a hut  from morning til dark to go out and search for food.  Their empty eyes, peeling skin, and swollen bodies from being so malnourished.  The look on their faces as I spooned food into their mouths and when the bowl was empty..they cried for more....  bowl after bowl after bowl.

I will never forget the twins that were covered in open wounds from syphilis.

the children that tested positive for HIV....will they get the meds that they need or die?

REALITY....we all need a dose of it.


Deuteronomy 4:40
Keep his decrees and commands, which I am giving you today, so that it may go well with you and your children after you and that you may live long in the land the LORD your God gives you for all time.

I received an email from the US, that I am so thankful for.  I never know who wants to be mentioned on my blog or who doesn't, so typically, I steer clear from any mention of names unless i have permission.  All of that said, the person that asked us to bring the formula and diapers to Damalie was Brantley Freeman with voices4thevoiceless.org.  I LOVE what this organization does.  I LOVE their hearts!  They have been collecting funds to  purchase land and BUILD Damalie a permanent place to care for all of the babies that she has in her custody.  When we met Damalie the first day, she told us that she had some friends for America that we helping her to have a permanent place.  However, she HAD to move into a place with water and electricity by this past Monday or the children would be taken.  SO, all of that said, the house that we rented on her behalf is just temporary.  She will only be there until the new place is built by Voices 4 the Voiceless.

While we are just an extension of what is already being done for this ministry, it helps my heart to see the body of Christ joining hearts in providing for people in need. HIS timing is perfect.

I spent a lot of time yesterday talking to Damalie about logistics of licensing, legal papers on all of the children, how money will be spent (not given straight to her but through the correct channels) that will best benefit her and these babies.  She has a clear picture of what has to be done to care for these babies on the Ugandan side and what has to be in order for us to help on the US side.  I am thankful that Voices 4 the Voiceless had already laid the groundwork so that she is able to understand.  The need in her home is SO great.  We have some doctors with us that examined the babies yesterday.  Several are severely malnourished, a few had malaria, syphilis, eye infections and diarrhea are common and we were able to test for HIV.  While a few showed to be positive, not nearly as many as I thought MIGHT be, so it was a blessing.  We spent the rest of the afternoon helping to feed dinner.  I am thankful to see that she has Ugandan women to help, and hopeful that the children that we diagnosed with sickness can get the meds that are needed and get better.


We are closing in on the last few days of our trip.  pray for our hearts to stay open for what HE has for us, and that we can see things clearly..just as HE sees them:)