Because of the emails and messages that I have received about my last post, I thought I would just blog my answers...not that I have that many....haha

The minute, that the nurse asked "what are her daily meds?" my test chest tightened and I thought "OH MY, what will be her response?" As I listed them, her face became more and more perplexed. There was a short silence and she said "these are anti-viral meds for HIV/AIDS?" and I responded "yes maam." After she pulled her manual out, she explained that they were not equipped to diagnose anyone taking those type of meds. She told me that she dealt with AIDS regularly at her "other job" but had never seen it at this one. (HINDSIGHT: I didn't think to ask what her "other job" was...) I DID explain that the reason that I brought her was to get her ears checked and just get some "routine" anti-biotics. I knew they would not be drawing blood, etc... and that is when she said "no maam, I would get in BIG trouble for assessing her...and gave me a list of places that WOULD treat her.

After getting home, I thought back through my day. I was still perplexed as to why she couldn't just look in her ears and give me a basic z-pack or amoxicillin. My mother-in-law is an infection disease nurse and she said that the minute clinics are not equipped to decide what meds can mix with others. So, when you are on the meds that Josie is they just completely steer clear. It is still perplexing. If I had it to do over I have a list of things that I would ask... haha.

I was talking to a friend last night that had read my post and she was asking me questions about it. I said to her, " honestly, before bringing Josie home, if you would have told me that a mother took her HIV child to a minute clinic, I would have responded quite differently." I would have thought...."why would a mother take a child with HIV (something SO severe to a minute clinic?!??!) Is she crazy??!!" The reality is...it IS our new normal and while it seems pretty insignificant now that she is well and thriving, we live in America and there is A LOT of educating that needs to be done. While it seems crazy to me, there are many legal ramifications that all of our doctors/nurses have to deal with. I have to be okay with it and continue to pray for the Lord to lead me in HOW to respond. HE will take care of the rest. I do not need to try justify anything, I am doing well to just live each day out relying on HIM. I will learn from my mistakes. Will NOT make them again, and be thankful that HE has entrusted me with her little life and HE will equip me with what I need.

I AM VERY encouraged that those of you that know Josie's story are now educated. You are equally as perplexed as I was on Sunday. THAT alone, makes my heart happy, that we are joining minds and hearts to bring light to the stigma that surrounds this virus. In the end, HE ALONE will be glorified through this little girls story!!

On an even MORE encouraging note, we are almost through with her testing for school/therapies. She is doing AWESOME!! the therapists are in awe of her progress over the past 19 months. They are so encouraging and are saying that they think that she can catch up and flourish in the classroom setting. WITHOUT DOUBT she is very intelligent! whoooop!

I always hesitate to blog if I have had the chance to get away. I typically get comments telling me that I live a "lavish" lifestyle or I could have spent the money that I spent on my time away on helping orphans...or a question asking me if I know what it feels like to "give til' it hurts." All of that said, I seem to always receive the most "AHA" moments when I am away because I sit quietly and pour out my heart to the Lord and he fills my cup, tablespoon, by table spoon. It is not until I sit quietly that I realize just how depleted that I am.

Mike's company sent us on a trip to Sea Island, Georgia. Over the years, it has grown to be my most favorite place on earth. It is QUIET, beautiful, smells of jasmine, and just dreamy. Mike laughs at me because I try to walk around with my eyes closed just soaking up the smell. I literally look around and whisper thanksgiving that HE would make our world such a beautiful place to live.

being thankful: check.

This year, I asked myself, is this place REALLY this extraordinary? or do I just TAKE the time to soak everything up when I am here?

A few weeks before we left for our trip I went to see a nutritionist. It was LONG overdue. I have been meaning to go for awhile now. I KNOW that Josie Love's diet is vital for her to be healthy, but quite honestly, since bringing her home, I've been doing well just to get everybody fed and her meds given. Not to mention, that Grace is now 15 years old, and she needs to know a HEALTHY way to eat so that she feels good. ( for that matter, each and every one of them need GOOD fuel for all of this extra crazy energy that they exude!)

She walked me through "good fats" vs. "bad fats", that we need to eat every three hours, and water, water, water...you get the idea. Just making myself aware of what our bodies need to feel good (mama was lacking some energy) and be healthy was fabulous. Now that it is in the forefront of my mind, I am encouraged and excited rather than feeling a little overwhelmed on what each person needs for their make up...it's all about having a "plan" hahha.

children's overall health: check.

Each morning, I got up, read my Jesus Calling, my bible, and took time to think about each one of my children. Their strengths, weaknesses, how I can pray for them, and what I specifically need to do for each one to make sure that I am reaching their heart and meeting their needs. While I KNOW how different they are, when I started doing this...I started feeling REALLY overwhelmed. they all have such different needs and wants. HOW IN THE WORLD CAN I DO ALL OF THIS!??!!

and then the whisper....."you're NOT..I AM!!" " I AM going to do it through you" is what I heard. I could have started crying.

Thankfully, HE has them. I am just here to make sure that their needs (laundry, food, sleep, etc..) is taken care of. HE HAS THEM. Whew!

once again, realizing that I AM NOT IN CONTROL: check. time alone with Christ: check.

Mike and I sat across from each other and talked, caught up on the past few months of sporadic conversations...actually finished them. I am SO thankful for him. He is such a gift.

time alone with my sweets: check.

And then, for my fortieth birthday present, my 3 best friends from high school came down!!! (I'm thinking I want to turn 40 next year also!!) Mike flew home, and I had 3 days with my girlfriends and we laughed and laughed and laughed.

relationships/laughter: check.

Whew! I am finally beginning to feel the cloud lift from over my head. Getting the "147 million orphans "spring line out was quite the task. We made a few changes in production, so as we took one step forward , we seemed to take three steps back. I am so thankful to have it all out and most of it on the site now....there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. Our latest arrival is earrings from Uganda....I LOVE THEM!! I can't wait for you all to see them!!

The past few weeks have brought MANY storms and tornadoes to the Middle Tennessee area. Our children have been at school in lock down/tornado mode several times with the lights flickering on and off. One day, Gwen and I were trying to get some work done and as we were leaving an apointment, golf ball size hail came crashing down. We dashed into a parking garage, just in time for our phones to start ringing informing us that a tornado was blowing over head. S-C-A-R-Y!!

I was busy cooking dinner last week when Mike called and told me to take the kids to the basement. A tornado was headed our way (AGAIN!) So, I turned my veggies off and took off down the stairs....children in tow. I decided to take a video of our time spent in the basement. Thankfully, a few days before, we had picked up toys, so that they would have room to play.

Listen to the words of this song while you read....I make reference to it later in this post....

I have been trying to read Jesus Calling all morning. It is 1pm, just got the kids down for naps and have finally picked it up. Sarah Young very quickly reminded me how trusting HIM is a moment by moment choice. Whenever we see Him move in a mighty way, we trust HIM intensely- but only temporarily . Soon the grumbling begins again. When things go wrong, our trust flow slows down or solidifies. Then we are forced at the fork in the road to stay on the path of life with HIM, or change our path.

Trusting HIM when Josie was so ill was SO easy because I had NOTHING else to cling to. Now that she is full of energy and into EVERYTHING, I grumble, grumble, grumble. I am tired! I am sick of battling with preschoolers, I do not like waking up at 5am to little fingers poking my arm, just to open my eyes and be nose to nose with someone that wants breakfast RIGHT NOW......GRUMBLE, GRUMBLE, GRUMBLE.

And then I look ahead, try to see the "big picture." My oldest (Grace) posted "Born to be somebody" as her status the other night on Facebook. I googled the song by Justin Bieber and it made my heart smile. The normal person, would listen to that song and think about making it big in the world....becoming famous. For Grace it means that there is a part of her that no one really "knows" or understands because half of her heart is in Africa and she can't really be all the God has made her to be until she is serving in that capacity. SO worth the preschool battles and nose to nose mornings! I just have to keep praying that the Lord will use these little ones for HIS glory and that I do not kill them before their time comes to serve..hahaha. In the meantime, I am going to be grateful that God has pierced Graces heart for the things that are the MOST important to HIM. I am going to keep praying that the Lord continues to draw her close to his heart and that during this time, HE will mold her into the perfect wife for someone special and that she will continue to long for the desires of HIS heart and not what our world tells her is the right "social" thing to do.

He tells us over and over that if we will follow HIM, that we will see the fruits from abiding in HIM. When I look into the face of my oldest, it gives me hope and keeps me focused on the next six that are following her. While they are all wonderfully and UNIQUELY made, He has a specific DIFFERENT plan for each and every one of them and I cannot wait to see what it is!

I just hope I am alive to see it and I haven't collapsed from exhaustion!