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147 Million Orphans Blog
how many hits?
Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. James 1:2-3
I havent posted for the past few weeks because I have been at a loss for words. My prayer this morning was "Lord, can I PLEASE just live in my comfort zone for one week?...please?" I couldn't help but chuckle as the words leaked from my lips. Comfort zone? I don't even really know what the definition of those words mean anymore. For five years, since our first adoption, I feel as though I live in a foreign land.
Will there ever be a time while I am sitting at Vanderbilt and see "infectious disease" on the door that I don't think..."how did I end up here?" Its been two years, and I still shake my head in wonderment. I saw Mike walking down the sidewalk the other with all of my children a few steps behind and I had one of those "AHA" moments of ....I know that's my husband but who are all of those kids following him?!!? They are all different colors and who is the little one in the pom pom's stopping to hug and talk to every stranger that passes?"
My hope was that I could blog about how fabulous Josie entering school had been. While she has her first day this Friday, satan has had a field day with the preparation of her starting. All of her testing information has yet to be sent to her school. I wonder at what point am I going to think ....."this is just the norm" but I continue to be shocked over and over by peoples responses, the look in the eyes, the bewilderment that GLOWS form their faces. After the first few times of calling Mike in tears after leaving the school, we decided that he would go with me from now on. My heart breaks IN HALF for my sweet little angel that God views as PERFECT, and in the worlds eyes she is far from that.
I cant help but think of Jesus and Judas at the passover. When Jesus explained that He would be denied and all of the disciples were shocked. Jesus KNEW it, He even TOLD them that it was going to happen, but in the end, HE was still hurt, heartbroken, and felt abandoned. I KNOW that my family is going to feel those feelings each time we walk into a new situation. I even explain to my children how it is going to feel. Yet, each time that it happens....I feel hurt, heartbroken, and abandoned. I am so thankful that I have my sweet Jesus to cling. He is CONSTANT, EVER PRESENT, and just what I need in my brokenness.
I had a revelation the other day, that was NO doubt God's whisper in my ear. The school that we have attended for 10 years has watched us grow from 2 children to 7. They have seen the transformation in our lives. While some still deem us "radical" it has become quit normal to see our family around....not to mention that there are 10 children from Jinja,Uganda with 5 more coming....at our school. It has become quite the norm. At Josie's new school, we are a little freaky looking walking down the halls! haha In time, people will get use to our family. (hopefully). My prayer is that they will see HIM and not us.
At the end of the day, I will continue to whisper...."YOUR will not mine, YOUR will not mine, YOUR will not mine!"
- I am a lover of Jesus. I have the most fabulous husband that anyone woman could ask for. The Lord has blessed us with 7 beautiful children. I started this blog so that friends and family could follow our trip to Uganda to visit Katie Davis. I have decided to keep blogging to help bring orphan awareness to the world around me.