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Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Those of you that encourage me to "keep it real" are going to love this post.
Most of the time I try to focus on the joy that my life brings me.
If i look at the reality of life for too long I might just shrivel up and die. ( The juggle from high school to 2 year olds is enough to take the strongest of women down! whew!) There are other times when the "ugliness" is thrown so hard and hits me RIGHT IN THE FACE that I have no choice but to acknowledge it. It is at that moment that I can think about it, process it, then move on...OR just sit in it and feel completely defeated and think "I have at LEAST 16 more years of this."
I asked Abby Akridge to go to Orlando with us last week. She is a junior in college, interning for SHOW HOPE, and has a HUGE heart for orphans. We had some great conversations about what her future holds and what her life MIGHT look like after college. She mentioned driving a fifteen passenger van and filling it with kids and desiring to just FOLLOW Christ call on her life....OH how I wish I would have had her faith at her age...WAY WISE BEYOND HER YEARS. Now I am not sure if after being with us for a week, that her heart still desires that! (ha)
The truth of the matter is...LIFE IS HARD. My sister in law has mentioned several times on this trip that she hasn't seen me much. My friends at home are always mentioning how they can never reach me. I usually am pretty good about returning texts, (lately, not so much) I use to have an answering machine, but it had gotten to the point that when I would return home, there would be 15 messages within just a few hours. I started feeling so overwhelmed at the thought of getting back to everybody that I just turned it off. I try to keep focused on keeping my children first and not being sidetracked by all of the outside forces.
It has been rainy everyday since we arrived on Sunday. This morning we woke to blue skies and a BROWN, OIL FILLED beach...aarrrgggghhhhhh! Mike decided to take the older kids to a water park and I decided to keep my 2 younger ones at the pool downstairs. I ordered a "wonder wheeler deluxe" and have been SO EXCITED to use it. It carries beach chairs, cooler, 9 beach towels, beach toys, and everything else that one desires to take out on your vacation. (It even has an extra pocket for your drink, other pockets for your room key, cell phone, etc....) Can you tell how excited I am?!?!
We get situated at the pool and Caleb starts filling the buckets full of water and throwing it on me, then rather than just throwing the water, decides to throw the whole bucket at my head..I very calmly explain that the bucket hurts and not to do that. All the while Josie is talking to an older woman sitting near by and the scowl on the woman's face looks as though she has eaten a lemon. So, I try to coax Josie away from her "new friend". I get back to my spot in the shallow
and a bucket hits me right in the head...SO I go get Caleb, sit him all alone and tell him not to get up until I give him permission. In the mean time a teenage boy approaches Caleb and asks him if he is looking for his mom and when I reply "he is in trouble for disobeying" the boy tells me that he would have NEVER guessed that I was his mom. (welcome to Gulf Shores, Alabama)
We move to the baby pool and this sweet little boy has these little plastic fish that swim in the water and you catch them with a net. Caleb decided that our WHOLE BAG of toys were no longer fun and that he wanted one of the "swimmy fish", the little boy shared for awhile and then wanted his fish back. After trying to explain to Caleb that the little boy had been so sweet to share and it was time to give his toy back, Caleb was having NO PART of it and began screaming and thrashing about. Screaming "I want to go to the sand box!" I removed him from the baby pool and headed to the sandy part of the beach that had been unaffected by the oil. He was insistent that he spray the hose (that you normally wash your sand off with) into the air and all over people passing. Several other incidences happened while on the beach but I won't continue to bore you with so many details. At this point I started quoting scripture ALOUD, and holding him very firmly on my hip. I told my sister in law that I was going upstairs to put him to bed and started back up that ramp. All the while, passing the same group of people for the THIRD time, with a screaming 2 year old in my arms. (i don't know about you, but when I see a child acting up I look away...so not to give the child more attention for his actions...doesn't that make sense?!?) Not these people....ALL EYES....STARING!
I receive MANY emails about HIV and having children of color. I can answer all of them with truthfulness. It might encourage some people and discourage others. The MAIN point that I try to impress on people is that WE DO NOT CHOOSE OUR LIVES. If you are truly living by faith and relying on our Savior Jesus Christ, then does it really matter if it's hard? or accepted? or pleasing to others? NO, it only matters to Christ and Christ alone. So, the bottom line...who are you here to serve?
Even in these "trials of many kinds," the servant of the Lord Jesus Christ is to continue living the life that James will describe. ...James1
Obeying Jesus will mean being able to stand up in the trials of life. In contrast is the man who quickly builds his house on the top of the earth. ...Luke 6
For Jesus' sake excludes a reference to the aging process or to the normal trials of everydaylife. Paul is thinking of the hardships and troubles that he ...2 Corinthians 4
indeed, in the minds of Paul's critics to resort to the pen is to live by the .... with all its limitations, frustrations, trials and tribulations. ...2 Corinthians 10
There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for ... 18 For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you ...1 Peter 1
Gal 2:20: I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, .... Jas 1:2: Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ...
I could go on and on and on with scripture that tells us that if we are truly living a life worth living FOR Christ that there are going to be trials and hardship. (I am talking little, piddley, moment by moment trials that over time just WEAR US DOWN.)
So, I have a choice. I can live defeated, every moment of every day. OR I can rejoice that my life is difficult and I am MADE to rely on my sweet Savior each and every moment (at least for 16 more years hahaha)
So, when "wild man with a BIG temper and significant leadership qualities" wakes from his nap guess what we are going to do? YEP! you got it...we're going back down to that pool! I SHALL NOT BE DEFEATED
- I am a lover of Jesus. I have the most fabulous husband that anyone woman could ask for. The Lord has blessed us with 7 beautiful children. I started this blog so that friends and family could follow our trip to Uganda to visit Katie Davis. I have decided to keep blogging to help bring orphan awareness to the world around me.