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Thursday, January 21, 2010
A couple of weeks ago Katie came home to be with her family and rest. One of her first stops was to come see little miss Josie Love. You should have seen her face when she laid eyes on Katie. She started screaming and laughing and could not get into her arms quick enough!
She wrapped her little arms and legs around Katie and did not let go for at least thirty minutes..it was the sweetest thing on earth!
Well, since you asked.....I EXPECT My sweet Saviour to pull me up from my darkness and fill my cup with HIS presence. He promises me this. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE ME NOR FORSAKE ME. perhaps it is in His timing and not mine, perhaps He is letting me "sit in it" until I compare my circumstances to those in Haiti......hhhmmmm.... I am driving through WILLIAMSON COUNTY (horse farms to the left and right), IN A CAR, not by foot, with air blowing in my face, drinking my diet coke and crying...is it REALLY that bad? Hard? YES Bad? no
We are not called to an easy life, as a matter of fact my Bible says this:
31"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory.32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'
45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'
46"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."
These verses are a little bit unnerving to me.... He is literally talking about casting people into hell. I do not have a "works based" relationship with Christ so these verses do not taunt me to try and "do" more and more. But if we are BELIEVERS, shouldn't our hearts yearn to do more? Shouldn't we ask ourselves "am I dying to self daily all for the sake to bring joy to my Saviours heart?" if not, what ARE we doing with our lives?
this first pic I was weary from cleaning up messes, so I put all three of them to mopping up the commode water that they had been playing in
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Lifting up my friend/sister
My sweet sister/friend is at the hospital right now. Gwen adopted a special needs little girl that was a burn victim from China two years ago. Her "special needs" was no hair. When Gwen arrived in China to bring her home, she realized that you could see her pulse in her scalp where she is missing hair. Which leads us to present day. Sweet little Maggie went in today for scalp extenders. The extenders that they put in today will eventually be filled with saline to stretch her scalp so they can pull the healthy skin over the part of her head that was so badly burned. Pray for healing and no infection. If it heals well, with no infection, then they will go back in and put in bone over the exposed part of her brain. This is the second time that they have had this surgery. The first time infection was found, and they had to remove the extenders. When I talked to Gwen earlier she said that they shaved her whole head, the procedure went well, and that she would probably swell pretty bad. Pray for Scott and Nana at home with her three other children, and for rest for Gwen at the hospital. You can follow her journey at Oatsvallteam.blogspot.com. Gwen serves the "least of these" on a daily basis. Her heart is bigger than anyone else that I know. It is a true privilege to walk through life with her on a daily basis. There are really no words to express how much Gwen and her family mean to me. let's lift them up sweet friends!
Friday, January 8, 2010
"God's Will for My Life"
I just had to add this pic of my new niece from India (Mia) isnt she precious? Caleb is quite intrigued with her also.
STINKER!!
This post has me feeling many mixed emotions. While adoption has completely changed my life spiritually, emotionally, and has filled me TO THE CORE with joy, it has also taken my days to a WHOLE NEW level of just plain ole HARD. I spend at least an hour each day just sitting in my kitchen floor. Not because it is my seat of choice, but because that just happens to be where I land when my 4,3,and 2 year old all decide that they want me to hold them all at the same time. So, I literally just sit and prop my back up against the cabinets. That way they can all just roll and whine and kiss on my face and they all have plenty of space to just be on top of me all at the same time.@#$?!?!# I usually speak aloud "okay, just take a deep breathe and they'll get distracted in a moment and I can pick up where I left off." Sometimes they do, and other times not, so we just SIT as long as it takes. During the holidays I had 2 weeks of just sitting in the floor. Then 2 more snow days....and I reached my point yesterday. My 6 and 8 year olds decided to argue for 2 hours straight on top of me just sitting in my kitchen floor with the little ones rolling all over me. I screamed at the top of my lungs "I QUIT! I AM QUITTING MY JOB! I AM TIRED, AND YA'LL ARE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE FOR THIS JOB! I QUIT!" silence.....silence....the look on their faces was as though I had 3 heads! (mama doesn't scream much...I'm not sure why, because it felt really good at the time...My mother never screamed so I guess it is somewhat foreign to me)
I had a sitter come today and I got a chance to get out a little bit (Thank you Lord for sweet Ali!)so I feel much better. I thought about that moment a lot today and I couldn't help but wonder why the Lord has called me to this particular life that I am leading. I can say with certainty that I didn't "choose" it, HE did and I am a little perplexed about it.
One particular part of our adoption story is that the Lord spoke to me AUDIBLY for the first time in my life. Now, I know some of you are thinking "audibly? are you sure? how does that really happen?" and I will be the first one to say that before it happened to me, if you told me that the Lord spoke to YOU audibly I would think "hhmmmm not so sure about that!" SO, I totally understand if you have your doubts. But HE did....clear as day..."I HAVE A CHILD FOR YOU" and he sure did have a child for me! Joshua's birthmom made her adoption plan THE SAME WEEK that I heard those words! I started paying more attention to thoughts that I would have. Sometimes things will just pop into your head about someone or something and you think "where did that come from?" START PAYING ATTENTION...it just might be the HOLY SPIRIT. Most of the time it is. After that moment I started acting on my thoughts. If someone popped into my mind that I hadn't seen in awhile, I would send them a little note in the mail and they would call me later and tell me about something bad that had happened that EXACT day that my note arrived...HOLY SPIRIT! Start paying attention to those little thoughts...the Holy Spirit is sending them to you.
As I look around at the body of Christ these days, the HOLY SPIRIT is missing. I think that we need to forget about "God's will for my life". God cares more about His spirit leading us TODAY than what we intend to do for the next year. We are so caught up in trying to figure out what His will is for our future that we are numb to what he is whispering in our ears TODAY.
Most of the time we are fearful of making mistakes, so we try to figure out what our 20 year plan looks like. He doesn't promise us a plan, He promises us that He will NEVER leave us or forsake us. Or if you feel like I felt yesterday, you want to know what your future holds so that you will see light at the end of the tunnel.
It is much easier to use the phrase "God's will for my life" as an excuse for inaction or even disobedience. It is much less demanding to think about God's will for your future than to ask Him what He wants you to do in the next few minutes. It's safer to commit to following Him SOMEDAY instead of TODAY.
Many of you have heard the Holy Spirit whisper to you about adoption but you choose to ignore it because of ALL of the circumstances that surround you that might make it a hard road to follow. Is that you?
Each of us that know Christ have the Holy Spirit dwelling within us. As we walk together through this lifetime, let's pray BOLDLY that we will desire His Spirit to guide us and that we will follow it moment by moment and not quench or resist it. (even if you are sitting in the kitchen floor with children all over you!)
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Perception....
I am beginning to feel as though the holidays are slowly coming to an end. We just celebrated Christmas with Mike's side of the family on New Years Eve. His sisters travel in from other states, so because of Christmas landing on a weekend this year, it pushed things back a bit. I have really enjoyed staying home and just being with my family. I haven't had to dress up, put on make-up, fix my hair or any of those things that I typically feel the "need" to do when going out. ( YOU southern women understand, that's the way the way that we show that we "have it all together...everything is under control". Hair rolled and "set", fully faced with eyeliner, blush, lipstick, and not to mention the "outfit" that fits just "so")
The other day, Mike was at work, my two older ones were asleep and my five younger ones were playing with their new Christmas "goodies". I was trying to get a little bit of my LOTS of laundry done that had accumulated over the days prior. The phone rang and it was a girl from Atlanta that I was going to meet near the interstate and get some 147 million orphan gear that she had left over from a fundraising party that she had done for a friend that is in the process of adoption. I got off the phone, started calling to the kids to get in the car so that we could meet her and "what before my wandering eyes did appear? Two little WHITE brown kids that looked like powdered covered doughnuts!!!!"
I grabbed them, took them to the car, and off we sped to meet my friend from Atlanta. I did NOT want her to have to wait on us because she was doing ME a favor. I have not had time to take down my Christmas lights in my van, so they were ON (Yes, I drive a 15 passenger van that has colored Christmas lights strung all along the ceiling for us to REALLY feel as though it is CHRISTmas!) As I am talking to my little ones about staying out of my bathroom and I look in my rear view mirror and there are BLUE lights flashing and the officer is pointing his finger telling me to pull over. SERIOUSLY? The officer walks up to my van, peeks into my back window (no doubt to see how pretty my Christmas lights look inside) and saw my little powder covered chocolate doughnuts in the back. By the time he reached my window, he was at a loss for words so I obliged him and said "Yessir, it's been ONE OF THOSE MORNINGS!" He kindly checked my record and saw that I am a law abiding citizen rather than someone from the "looney farm" and let me go without a ticket for speeding. My mind INSTANTLY went to "what does he REALLY think of me?"
We had a conversation at my in-laws house about how everyone opens their gifts with a smile for fear that we might disappoint the one who spent money and time buying it for us. We got tickled thinking about the responses that we might receive if we were ALWAYS honest about the way that we really feel about things in life rather than thinking about others feelings. Here are a few of the pics that came out....
We laughed at each other and had so much fun while opening gifts this year. I looked through these pics later, and these faces remind me of some of the looks that I receive sometimes when I am out with my children. I have a choice to laugh or cry. (Gwen reminds me regularly..."we laugh...we DON'T cry!!!!) So most of the time I laugh. This morning during my quiet time I was reading in Samuel. He was lecturing Saul on his desire to follow Christ. Do you think all God wants are sacrifices-empty rituals just for show?
He wants you to listen to HIM!
Plain listening is the thing, not staging a lavish religious production.
Not doing what God tells you is far worse than than fooling around in the occult.
Getting self-important around God is far worse than making deals with your dead ancestors.
Because you said NO to God's command, He says NO to your kingship.
What do I REALLY focus on? Things that are of importance to the world or to my Saviour? He is VERY clear in the things that are important to HIM in scripture. And most of his heart issues are not "fully faced, hair fixed nice, cute outfit on, all together and under control!"
HMMMM....when I think about Christ's heart He seems to have all sorts of upside down viewpoints. "blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Matt 5:3) He said the first would come last and the last come in first. (Matt. 20:16) The weak are considered strong, and the strong considered vulnerable (1 Cor. 1:27-29) The poor are rich and the rich are poor (Rev. 3:17-18) The humble are exalted, and the proud are brought down. (Luke 1:52-53)
Maybe it is MY viewpoints that I am BOMBARDED with DAILY in our comfortable little world that are "upside down?"
My prayer for the New Year is that my heart will be MORE and MORE in tune with Christ and Christ ALONE. That my focus will be HIS heart and the lens that I look through daily will be CLEAR and not tainted with the world...join me?
Monday, December 28, 2009
Did you know?!
I am going to do my best not to get on a "soapbox" in this post. All of these things are SO near to my heart and during this CHRISTmas season have become more and more to the forefront of my mind.When I tell you that watching Josie Love Christmas morning brought joy to my heart...it is an UNDERSTATEMENT. With my other children, most of their "firsts" were in the first two years of their lives. Watching her is DIFFERENT. She is having so many FIRST moments and she's old enough to REALLY "get it!" She laughed from the pit of her tummy, and smiled, and smiled, and smiled, as she went from sibling to sibling and gazed at the shiny new toys that lay in front of them. My eyes welled with tears the whole time just seeing the joy on her face and the peace in her little squinted eyes. Multiple times, I looked at her little face and thought "for almost FOUR YEARS she has not had anyone to call mommy or daddy." The thought of it makes my heart ACHE. She has been ill most of her life, with her diagnosis unknown, and her medical care limited. The thought of other children JUST LIKE HER being overlooked by believers DAILY makes my heart feel as though it is breaking in half. Please hear me say that I would have been fearful to walk this road that my sweet Saviour has me on. AND I wouldn't have knowingly chosen it. (because I KNOW myself) BUT now that I am on the other side and this sweet little angel is MINE, I want you to hear me say that YOU CAN DO IT TOO!
For Christmas, Mike bought me the book "TOO SMALL TO IGNORE....why the least of these matter most" by Wess Stafford. AS IF I NEED MY FIRE FUELED ANYMORE...this book just gets my engine revved up! Here are a few things that I have learned from it.
Did you know:
that research indicates that the vast majority of people who become Christians, do so while still children, usually before the age of 14?
that there are 2,000 Bible passages that declare our Father's love for the impoverished and their children and that urge us ,YOU AND ME, to defend their cause?
If a person hasn't accepted Christ as a youth, studies tell us that the probability he or she will EVER know Jesus is only 23%?
the earth can produce enough food for every man, woman, and child to have 2,270 calories per day-MORE THAN ANY OF US REALLY NEED? (so while God has done His part in creating a world capable of providing what we need, we have NOT done our part in the stewardship of it)
The magnitude of the poverty problem is SO BIG that as believers we do nothing for one reason: we do not know what to do. When we do turn our attention in the direction of orphans satan attacks and makes it seem IMPOSSIBLE to help in any way. WHICH leads me back to my first few questions.....the reason it SEEMS impossible is because there is an invisible battle going on. A spiritual war that rages over EACH and EVERY child. Satan is going to do everything possible to keep children from being brought into a Christian home and showed the love of Christ. If satan can keep the blinders on our eyes, and the children in our world overlooked until they are older, then the percentages of that child EVER knowing Christ play in "the deceivers'" favor.
No matter what the setting children seem to be the most overlooked. When hunger and famine strikes a nation, adults become weak and hungry, but it is the children who starve to death. When disease strikes, adults become very ill, but the first to die are the children. The most vulnerable people in our world have become the most disposable. Children in our world are so vulnerable to poverty that malnutrition causes 55% of the child deaths in our world. Our selfishness and greed cause them to pay the greatest price but they suffer silently.
In reality, children have THE MOST to offer. Ask any Mom or Dad who tucks a little one in at night. Children do not have much to offer materially, but they generously give all they have to those they love and believe in: hugs at bedtime, full-body squeezes, sloppy kisses, little fingers folded inside of our larger ones, sparkling marble shaped eyes that speak "mischief", little whispers of "i love you mommy". These things are priceless and MORE than enough. Few gifts on earth are as wondrous as the love of my little ones.
PLEASE help me spread the word. There are children who need us to pray, care, love, feed, or adopt them all over this world! Please do your part! Little Josie's are EVERWHERE longing for love and waiting for the body of Christ to show it to them. Every person on earth needs a little "Josie Love" in their life to show how the most vulnerable, nothing to offer, sick, and droopy eyed little person can bring your heart JOY, JOY, JOY. Just ask my oldest 5 children....they will tell you that their hearts have been forever changed by her sweet little giggle.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Falling Apart...
Why is it that no matter how strong our spiritual walk, and how much we feel the presence of Christ daily, we STILL doubt that HE is with us sometimes? There are times during the day (typically from 4:30-6pm) that I think "HELLO......I NEED SOME BACKUP HERE!!" HE tells us that not only is with us in spirit, but he came to earth via a VIRGIN woman so that we will know WITHOUT DOUBT that HE lived and IS still alive in us.
We have a annual Christmas ritual of making a gingerbread house. (I buy the kit, sorry to disappoint those of you who make it homemade and roll it all out....) This year I also got a gingerbread choo choo train since my brood has grown, and I knew the boys would really "dig"it. My kids LOVE it! This year my #8 kiddo was here also. We joke all of the time about Mallory (who lives around the corner) being a part of our family. She just blends right in , and is such a sweet, sweet blessing to us all. They all worked and worked to make the house and choo choo beautiful. At first they had to have patience in waiting for the icing to dry so that it would all hold together. Then came the details...all of the things on the outside that make it beautiful. The whole time they worked together and it SLOWLY came together. We took pics the whole time and were pleased with the finished project. The older ones had to remember that 3 preschoolers helped construct it, therefore, it did not look perfect in the end. (ha) We took pics of the finished project and we felt asthough we had made a HUGE accomplishment. We were all snuggled in the great room watching "grandma got run over by a reindeer" when we realized that both of our masterpieces had collapsed!
I couldn't help but think about our lives as believers. Isn't that just how it happens? We spend time with Christ. We depend on HIM to help us through each day. THEN, we surround ourselves with other believers, go to bible studies...ya know, the finishing touches to ADD to our walk with HIM, and BAM!#?&%@# something comes along, and makes it feel as though we are back to square one. How defeating. How exhausting. I cannot imagine going through life all of the time, being on the "roller coaster" of life without hope in Christ. HE is the one thing that makes me want to stay steadfast.
Christ tells us to nurture our trust in HIM as Saviour, Lord, and Friend. He has held NOTHING back in HIS provision for us. HE has even designed us to live WITHIN us. He promises that if we will rejoice in all that HE has done for us, HIS light will shine through us into the world.
That is my prayer...that HIS light will shine through me DAILY...even from 4:30-6pm in the afternoons when I am at my weakest.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
UPDATE....
Gwen and Elijah are headed home from Vanderbilt.(read post below) Elijah's second scan showed no change....THANK YOU LORD! He is okay and Gwen is exhausted..... he is to have no rigorous activity for at least 2 weeks.
As I sit here and think of all that needs to be done around my house, bed made, sleeping bags picked up (from my 8 year old's slumber party last night) kitchen cleaned.....I am reminded through JESUS CALLING to let the tasks that clutter my mind fall to the side. These tasks are ENDLESS and they clutter areas of my mind that need to be filled with HIS presence. Josie is sitting here next to me "jabbering away"(reading JESUS CALLING). She has been ENDLESSLY calling my name whining and crying over the last few days. (Those of you that have little ones know how exhausting that this can be.) I have chosen to rejoice in the fact that she is here with me and focus on the fact that I went to Vanderbilt Childrens Hospital yesterday! I walked in (IT IS SOOO CLEAN!) talked to our WONDERFUL infectious disease doctor and we made a plan to start her meds for the HIV in two weeks!(In 6-12 months we should see SIGNIFICANT change in her immune system) He sent us downstairs for a chest x-ray (we were finished in 20 minutes), x-ray was read, diagnosis was written, and meds are started. Pneumonia wouldn't have been my choice for her sickness, BUT I am so happy that she is in America now and receiving the care that her little body needs. IT IS SUCH A PRAISE!
I want to encourage all of the other moms out there (that are like me and when your surroundings are cluttered, so is your mind ) to let your "endless tasks" fall to the side and just enjoy your family this CHRISTmas season.
Gwen and I have decided to close our computers ( our 147 site will be back up and running on Monday, Dec 20) and enjoy our families for the next week. All of the orders that we have received have been shipped and there are stores to buy beads (on our site) for last minute shopping. Thank you for your prayers and hopefully within the next few days we will all be on the mends!
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About Me
- suzanne
- I am a lover of Jesus. I have the most fabulous husband that anyone woman could ask for. The Lord has blessed us with 7 beautiful children. I started this blog so that friends and family could follow our trip to Uganda to visit Katie Davis. I have decided to keep blogging to help bring orphan awareness to the world around me.