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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

none of me, ALL of HIM

Annabelle and Patrick Maddux (just a few weeks home from Uganda)
Nicholas Maddux (also just home from Uganda) and Josie use to sleep in the same room in the orphanage! Now he is driving her around in the snow and she is SO excited!!
My sweet Grace and a few of her friends
my den during a snow break..hungry tummies and cold hands and feet!
Drew Maddux taking Patrick, Annabelle, Emma, and Nicholas for a ride

during the photo op, one of Grace's buddies decided to bust them with a snowball! boys will be boys!!
Michael (who is very secure in himself to wear a hot pink girls hat) and his buddies
Thomas making a snow angel and boy is it gonna be a tall, muscular angel! haha
the culprits for my pantry being depleted!
My sweet friend Tara, who is transitioning FABULOUSLY from three to FIVE! children!!
Annabelle and Emma
Mallory and Patrick riding in the "Motacar"

My cell phone just buzzed...a text from my husband: "I think your account is empty" which is his sweet way of saying that I have bounced a few checks. This isn't the first time that this has happened, thankfully, I have an overdraft protection on my checking account.

When I read his text, my mind automatically went to "well, so is my emotional account, my energy account, and my spiritual account!" hahahha. I don't know about you guys, but we had a FABULOUS Christmas. I LOVE being with family and eating! I took Josie back to the doctor, we had a few days back in school (just enough to get good and tired and cranky during the transition back into school bedtimes, tests, etc....) and BAM! the snow hit. So, four days straight of more eating and TONS of friends to play with. I have not seen my pantry as cleaned out in YEARS...down to the bare bones! My party is definitely pooped!

I woke up yesterday at 5:30am and took my computer into my laundry room so that I could listen to some worship music while folding laundry. I was dreading the task, so I thought "I'll just worship while I work...after all, who can be grumpy while worshipping?" As each child came down the stairs, I found myself turning my music up louder and louder. (My children do not wake up slowly, they wake up with a BURST of energy BOUNCING down the stairs...much to my dismay.) If they were calling, I sure didn't hear, I was singing "Our God" by Chris Tomlin, hanging on to EVERY word of it. In the back of my mind, I had decided that I am not REALLY called to this life that I am leading. And if I am called to it, then maybe I am making it more complicated that it has to be. So, I start thinking through my days, trying to "weed out" the parts that make it difficult. Slowly but surely I had weeded out everything that made life difficult, along with those difficult things were my happiness and joy.

As I continued to search my heart I realized all of these things that our culture views as a "calling" are actually DEMANDS that Christ has given us as followers of him. I was reminded that IF I am a true follower of Him, then I cannot pick and choose what scriptures I will apply to my life. I cannot love my neighbor (because thats easy to do ) then decide that I am not called to all nations. He has not called me to go to all nations; He has created us and commanded us to go to all nations. I cannot say that I am not called to care for orphans and widows when we KNOW that He commands that of us, and then apply Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" to my life because I am SO VERY TIRED.

David Platt (RADICAL) does a great job of explaining how we have drawn a line of distinction, assigning the obligations of Christianity to a few while keeping the privileges of Christianity for us all. His book talks about how when Jesus summarized his life here on earth, He didnt relive all of his great sermons,the miracles he performed, or feeding thousands of people with minimal food. Instead, he talks REPEATEDLY about the disciples that he spent most of his time with. The main people that he invested his life in here on earth. He LOVED these men! And they DID not always make it easy on him! Judas was lost for heaven's sake. Jesus poured so much time and energy into him and he FORSAKE him!! who DOES that?!! His last words to his disciples were to "go make disciples." Making disciples is NOT easy. It is yucky, slow and tedious..because it is relational. There is no formula to make life easy. Jesus has SIMPLY given us people and said "live for them. Love them, serve them, and lead them. Lead them to follow me, and lead them to lead others to follow me.

So, when I am defeated. When my life is cluttered and has MOUNDS of laundry in I loving? am I serving? and am I leading? Keeping things in perspective. That is my goal for 2011...perspective.


Polly said...

it is always a joy and inspiration to read your words. Thank you

Jim and April said...

suzanne, i just want to take a moment and thank you so much for your heart, your honesty and what you write on here. I am sure there are days when you feel like you cannot do it, its hard, and well kind of like you wrote about above...but I want you to know even through those moments God is using you, because when I get on here and see how your feeling or what your going through and then read what you write about how God is working thorugh it in your personally, it helps me, lifts me up and encourages me in my daily life that is sometimes not so fun or exciting either but its something we are called or wait demanded to do! love you girl! love the book radical too! p.s. i've been doing the Jesus calling devotional now too and i love it! some days have been so meant for me that I just sit back and cry and say wow!

Erin said...

First of looks like you guys had SO MUCH FUN!!!! are a breath of fresh air! I love your honesty and "realness." Walking with the Lord can be tough...because dying to our flesh is tough. I am so thankful that you are transparent enough to communicate the ups and downs. I will pray for REST for your soul and a PEACE that comes only from the Lord, and for HIS PERSPCTIVE (like you said!) :) Keep on truckin', sister! Jesus looks so beautiful on you!

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

LOVE this post!!! Really encouraging :)

ALSO- LOVE YOUR NEWS about Josie :)!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!

Kat said...

Beautiful....praying for God's leading at this moment about another child. Sometimes I think, "I am just so tired, how can I do this?" God reminds me though. I would treasure any prayers.

Julie said...

Love the fun pics and preach it sister!! Love it!

Kim said...

Cannot even imagine all that snow back home?! CRAZY!
Love it all!
The snow, images of your gathering spot, and the worship with laundry!
I am thinking I know (or know of the Maddux family) ... is that possible?
Love & Blessings,

RaVae Erickson said...

Perspective...maybe that is what I need as well. Thank you for this post, it was fun and enlightening. Many blessings!

The McBs said...

Love this.. reading my mail again! ha. My focus this year is "Keeping the pace with Grace" .... what good is it if I'm a grumpy servant? Love your heart, your kids are beautiful and joy oozes from you all!

Anonymous said...

Your fam is gorgeous. Love Michael in that hat :) Saw Gwen's FB status- SO EXCITED for Miss Josie Love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh My precious girl. When we had a conversation together so many years ago, and I said if anyone can do this you can, those were confusing to you at the time, and you wanted a further explanation. Do you remember? WELL now you know the answer. What a mighty God we serve. KEEP TELLING THE STORY. This is one worth telling and living.

mamamargie said...

Thank you! That was just what I needed today (even though I'm reading it 2 weeks after you wrote it!) :)


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I am a lover of Jesus. I have the most fabulous husband that anyone woman could ask for. The Lord has blessed us with 7 beautiful children. I started this blog so that friends and family could follow our trip to Uganda to visit Katie Davis. I have decided to keep blogging to help bring orphan awareness to the world around me.
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