The past few months have just stunk. Day to day life has been SO HARD. After dropping my oldest four at school in the am, I have found myself thinking..."just 3 more years and they'll all be in school!" The thought of not having to watch EVERY move of Josie Love and Caleb just sounds like heaven on earth to me. When I say that they are into EVERYTHING....it is an understatement. I actually used the bathroom all by myself the other day! I walked out feeling like I had achieved something HUGE JUST to find that Josie had gotten into my pantry and poured pancake syrup all over the counter. While cleaning up the sticky mess, I found myself thinking....maybe using the bathroom alone isn't such a luxury?!? Josie has been potty trained for 9 months now. The past week she has decided to just go in her pants MULTIPLE times. The fun part is, that she WAITS until we are at someone else's house. At our friends Christmas brunch, at my Mom's Christmas Eve (2x), and at my in-laws house yesterday (3x)...AAARRRGGHHHH! There is a STACK of broken Christmas decor that have been broken that are on my husbands desk just waiting for gorilla glue to make them whole again. I could tell you story after story after story, AFTER STORY much like this one, but am afraid that I may cry if I bring them back to the forefront of my mind. (If Caleb wasn't so cute I might just punt him into the next county some days.) Above all else, I'm tired of acting it's ALL GOOD, cause it's NOT. It is hard, and this preschool stage is WEARING me down.

Mike and Michael are duck hunting, Annabelle and MillerAnne, and Grace spent the night with their cousins at my in-laws last night. So, I am home with my three littles. I am up in my bed with Joshua snuggled up next to me, coffee with yummy hazelnut creamer bedside, and my Jesus Calling book and my bible sitting next to it. hhhmmm....think I might open them for the first time in WEEKS.

I am preparing you for what is on the road ahead. Take time to be still in my presence so that I can strengthen you. The busier you become, the more you need this time apart with me.So many people think that time spent with me is a luxury they cannot afford. As a result, they live and work in their own strength-until that becomes depleted. then they either cry out ot me for help or turn away in bitterness.

How much better it is to walk close to me, depending on my strength and trusting me in EVERY situation. If you live in this way, you will DO less, but ACCOMPLISH much more. Your unhurried pace of living will stand out in this rush-crazed age. Some people may deem you lazy, but many more will be blessed by your peacefulness. Walk in the light with me, and you will reflect ME to the watching world. JESUS CALLING BY SARAH YOUNG

WOW! HE never leaves me nor forsakes me...then why have I felt so alone the past few weeks? Maybe because i have been SO busy preparing for adoption conferences (what I will speak on), the holidays, and the chaos of school ending (parties, birthdays, and spend the nights) that I haven't taken the time to fill my heart with the Holy Spirit. While much of what I have been doing is "kingdom work", I havent been filling my heart with what is vital for me to feel like I am living and not DROWNING. The Holy Spirit feels my hearts SO FULL that I actually feel as though I can breathe again. He gives me peace that I cannot get from giving gifts, feeding children worldwide, helping others with adoptions, loving my children and husband well.....

I HAVE to take the time to give HIM the chance to fill my soul, with HIS presence, HIS peace, HIS love, and HIS patience. I do not have it now, I NEVER will without HIS loving arms wrapped around me and HIS love pouring OVER me like water in a parched desert. OH I am so thankful, that HE is EVER present and it is I who moves away from HIM, and when I realize it, He welcomes me with OPEN arms, again and again and again!

I am looking forward to the New Year! I cannot wait to see what HE is going to do with 147 Million Orphans. We gave $53,000 away last year to help orphans in Ethiopia, Uganda, Honduras, Haiti, China, and the US. We have over 200 families that will be fundraising with our gear starting in January.

While I seem frustrated with my children in this post (hahaa), I am SO thankful that HE has entrusted me with their little lives and I cannot imagine life without each and EVERY one of their little smiles that greet me each and every morning. The husband that HE has given me is the most wonderful man on earth. He is patient, loving, and makes me feel whole. Our lives are TOTAL teamwork and I cannot imagine life without him.

I AM THANKFUL.... SO THANKFUL THAT MY SWEET SAVIOR IS CONSISTENT WHEN I AM NOT!

Well,I finally broke away from all of the emails that have been flooding in through EVERY avenue of social media that I am a part of, regarding Katie's blog going private! While Gwen and I (and Grace...our extra set of hands) are completely overwhelmed with the work, our hearts are full KNOWING that so many people long to read Katie's words. What HUGE blessing she is to SO many...I just LOVE the way the Lord is using her to minister to the MULTITUDES (haha)

One of my FAVORITE things that I do over the holidays is bake with my mom and sisters. We started this tradition several years ago and as our daughters have gotten older, they now join the fun! I am so blessed to have two sisters and a mother who live near nearby. While we don't see each other on a daily basis or even talk daily, I ALWAYS know, that WITHOUT doubt that I can call them at ANY time (day or night) and they will be there to help with a smile. My niece Lauren was out of town, she was surely missed. We gathered at my oldest sisters house (Susan) with recipes in hand and started mixing it up! Grace and Abbie were partners in crime in baking the "chocolate -no-bakes." My mom's specialty is buttermilk fudge and I made some new yummy little snacks. ( put a hershey's kiss on the top of a window pane pretzel and melt it, then mash a m&m on the top and let it harden...sweet and salty...DELICIOUS and SO cute!) After several hours of baking we realized that EVERY snack that we made had chocolate in it! WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT MY FAMILY?!?!?

I look forward to my other daughters getting older so that they can join the fun each Christmas season. What a sweet, sweet gift my sweet Savior blessed me with...not ONE, but TWO sisters and a mother!

In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips!

Gwen and I have been flooded w/ emails (on all 3 of our email accounts) and on facebook about Katie's blog going private .... I just wanted to let you know it is just for some re-vamping / communication stuff and that she is NOT posting anything over the holidays ... It will go back to normal after the holidays, so no worries and no password needed ... THANKS FOR ALL YOUR PRAYERS AND CONCERN ...

HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!

My children absolutely LOVE the "25 Days til' Christmas" movies on the family channel starting December 1. The whole month of November they speak of building a fire, pulling out the blankets and snuggling up on the couch together. As our family has grown, the couch snuggling has spread to the floor with masses of pillows and blankets...we LOVE it!

Last weekend (the entire weekend) the movies were the Harry Potter series. NOW, I know that this is a VERY controversial subject, but since this is MY blog, I am going to share my heart about this issue. I have heard ALL of the reviews about this series in the literary world. I know that all of the experts and critics believe that this series of books/movies are extraordinary. The issue that I have, not only with Harry Potter but also sex filled movies, is that AS BELIEVERS we HAVE to be aware of the war that is going on in the spiritual realm all around us.

There have been times through out my life where I have come face to face with demonic oppression. IT IS REAL. The spells that are cast, the lives that satan has taken over and ruined is REAL. The things that you see on Harry Potter (while we think of it as entertainment and "imaginary"...IT HAPPENS!) If you do not believe me, ask a few people who live in third world countries that deal with witch doctors and I guarantee you that they don't watch it for entertainment. People are ALIVE on this earth, casting spells, sacrificing children, killing people on a daily basis to bring satan glory and we are watching or reading the same type of "witchcraft" here in the US as entertainment. If you have had a spell cast on your or your children and you had to rely on our sweet Savior to heal your body and free your children from the bondage that accompanies it....you would NEVER desire to read about it or watch it as entertainment. If you are a believer you believe that satan is real OR NOT. If you believe he is real...then why subject yourself to his lies? Now, I know that Harry Potter is not sacrificing children but what YOU need to know is that what goes on in the Harry Potter series is the SAME witch craft that leads to all of the other. That they would show witchcraft during the season of Christ birth angers me to no end. Just another little jab from satan...easing his way in on such a precious season to celebrate our Savior.

My friend Katie is surrounded by children who have pierced their ears, pulled permanent teeth, or have marked their skin permanently so that they will not be used as child sacrifice. IT IS real....it is SAD....and as believers we HAVE to educate ourselves on this matter. The real question is...."is it worth it for us to just ignore it for our entertainment?"

The same holds true with movies that open our minds and hearts to sexual lust. When we sit and watch a couple having sex on a big screen, (and I KNOW that they do not show EVERYTHING just enough to leave the brain to wonder...which is actually worse at times) we are opening our minds and hearts to the source of 70% of broken marriages today. SEVENTY PERCENT..... All for the sake of entertainment...don't you wonder if God wonders if we even have a brain in our heads? Why on earth would we subject our minds and hearts to the very thing that is breaking up our God ordained relationship?????

47% percent of families said pornography is a problem in their home
Pornography a significant factor in 2 out of 3 divorces

9 out of 10 children aged between the ages of 8 and 16 have viewed pornography on the Internet, in most cases unintentionally

Average age of first Internet exposure to pornography: 11 years old

Largest consumer of Internet pornography: 12 - 17 year-old age group

The bible is full of scripture speaking of the heavenly hosts raging war against the evil one. There is a war going on DAILY. Events may seem to occur randomly, with little or NO meaning. People who view the world this way have overlooked one basic fact: the limitations of human understanding. If we only knew how our Savior's heavenly army is fighting on our behalf each and every day. We would never doubt how much He cares for us. This is why we must walk by faith and not by sight. Trusting in HIM moment by moment.